Kids Say the Darndest Things

Now, I know you don't know a whole lot about my child. Let me take this opportunity to spread a little knowledge and give you a little insight into the Conman.

First off, he's 5, almost 6. However, he would like for you to believe that he's much, MUCH older. He already knows everything about anything (which does not bode well for his teenage years, or mine), and he has absolutely no problem telling you everything, all at once. Unless he hasn't met you. Then you might have to ask twice.

In this household, words are important. I, myself, am a writer by trade. I also consider myself a novice hobby linguist - I'm just now getting into discovering the magic and mystery behind the formation of words, their meanings and their etymologies. I'm learning how to write fictional languages, and looking into learning real-world foreign languages. So yeah, words are important. A little bit of this has rubbed off on the boy, and every so often, he declares "his word".

For an example, I give you awesome. I noticed Conman using awesome a lot, and in an effort to be a hip and with-it mom, I've adopted to the practice.

"How's that hot dog, Con?"
"Oh, mom, it's awesome!"

"Did you have a good day at school, boy?"
"Yeah, mom, playing with the Lego's was awesome today."

"I bet you did awesome in school today, didn't you, son."
"Mom."
"What, boy?"
"Don't say that, mom. Awesome is only cool when I say it. But yeah, I was awesome today."

I'm overjoyed that he's taken possession of something as ephemeral as a word. I've asked him to explain to me what his "declared words" mean, and he's always been able to give me a reasonably correct definitions, which makes me exceptionally proud. I'm glad that he seems to have an inherent quality for intelligence and a firm grasp of the English language at such a young age. What I hope does NOT happen is that he develops into a little wise ass. That would be worst case scenario.

It didn't take him long, once he began to become aware of the world around him, to grasp crude words, the use of the middle finger, and a few other of the more base uses for language (not that we taught him these words, but he sorta...picked them up...you know...around the house...). He's smart enough to realize that you don't say those things (or, in the case of obscene gestures, don't do 'em...).

All in all, I'm proud of my fella. He's a smart boy, quiet, and well-behaved. He pays attention to me, does what he's told, and listens to other authority figures (teachers, grandparents, etc.). It makes me glad that, given my childhood, it hasn't come back to haunt me. I actually have a good child, after I was such a hellion. I'm a lucky mom.