So, what I neglected to put in my post yesterday was that I spent all day on Wednesday with...(drumroll)...my mother. And guess what? Not once was I tempted to reach across the kitchen table and strangle her. I think it's because we were doing something - scrapbooking - that she knows I know about and that she has no clue about, therefore, she couldn't take control of the situation. She had to sit and watch and listen and pick up on things rather than say, "We're doing it MY way."
Well, regardless, I think I've created a monster. We took a field trip to Wally-World to pick up some supplies and she picked up an additional two - count 'em - two - blank albums. She wants to do one album for her travels, one album for Conman, and an album for my grandma for a Christmas present. She's gathering up her pictures, pulling out the ones she likes and we're going on another supplies buying expedition to Huntington on Monday. Together. Yikes.
We never can get through much of a day out, alone, without some kind of argument. I hope this time it's better. I hope she's interested enough in what we're doing to think about that and not about nit-picking me the whole time. That's usually what starts it, her aggrevating me over something small and stupid, and me needing to brain her with something to get her to shut up. This time, though, I have high hopes. She has purpose, and for once, my purpose aligns with hers.
Wish me luck. I think I'll need it.
Showing posts with label Motherly Observations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherly Observations. Show all posts
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Since we last talked...
Not a lot has happened.
First, finances are somewhat better. I'm not saving $100 a paycheck anymore now that vacation's over, but I'm thinking about after Christmas starting to save again. Our TV is about to go kaput (the sound keeps going in and out - getting REALLY LOUD and then really quiet over and over again without anyone touching the volume controls) and I'd really like to save enough to get a 40" LCD HD TV and a Blue-Ray dvd player (our dvd player is about 10 years old...the viable life for those things is 3 years). But anyway...I've got to get Christmas out of the way first. Gotta get gifts for Conman (which is the bulk of my purchases) and a couple of other people, too. Thank goodness I bought some gifts back in the summer and already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. Why? Well, we need a new Christmas tree this year, and all new outside decorations, too. Yay.
Conman went to his first Cub Scouts meeting on Tuesday and loved it. Now that football is over, he's able to go to meetings. I signed him up for basketball and paid the fee, but I dunno if he'll play or not. He's already told us a couple of times that he doesn't wanna play, which is fine by me (I can't stand basketball anyway); he has "tryouts" this evening at 6, so I suppose we'll see what happens then.
So, on Saturday I decided that I HAD to have a good meal, so the three of us took off to Charleston for a good dinner and to hopefully get a little shopping done. Well, it was a disaster from the word "go". I picked up DH and Conman and we took off, and decided to eat at a place called "Billy's". Thier tag line is "Just Good Food", and I wonder who came up with that tagline. It was just about the most horrible food I've ever had. I ordered turkey & dressing, and it was Stove-Top stuffing and a cooked-frozen-then-reheated turkey breast, so dry you could have used it as kindling. DH's meal was just as bad. Conman's dinner, fish sticks, was good, but man...you can't screw up fish sticks. After we paid our $40 for our came-from-a-box dinner, I realized that I needed to go to Logan to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, so we had to literally fly back to Logan from Charleston (with a quick stop at the house to pick up my wayward wallet) in order to get there before the pharmacy closed. We made it with time to spare - I thought the pharmacy closed at 6PM, turns out it closes at 7PM. Disgusted, disappointed and just...blah, we decided to just go home. We dropped Conman off at my parents' house then went to stop for smokes at the smoke shop only to find that they had JUST been robbed...so we went to the local grocery store, rented a couple of movies, bought my smokes and went home.
Sunday was better - we went to Famous Dave's for bar-b-que, then to Michael's to buy two poster frames for Conman's bedroom, then to the book store where I bought Peter Straub's Ghost Story and Stephen King's The Regulators and picked up a nifty Terry Pratchett compillation, then we looked at several other stores for a game for DH, and we finally found something at Wal-Mart; I got one too *grin*. So yeah, Sunday made up for the crappy Saturday.
I guess that's all for now. Just sorta trying to get things done around here and trying to relax at the same time (yeah, nearly impossible, I know). Until next time...
First, finances are somewhat better. I'm not saving $100 a paycheck anymore now that vacation's over, but I'm thinking about after Christmas starting to save again. Our TV is about to go kaput (the sound keeps going in and out - getting REALLY LOUD and then really quiet over and over again without anyone touching the volume controls) and I'd really like to save enough to get a 40" LCD HD TV and a Blue-Ray dvd player (our dvd player is about 10 years old...the viable life for those things is 3 years). But anyway...I've got to get Christmas out of the way first. Gotta get gifts for Conman (which is the bulk of my purchases) and a couple of other people, too. Thank goodness I bought some gifts back in the summer and already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. Why? Well, we need a new Christmas tree this year, and all new outside decorations, too. Yay.
Conman went to his first Cub Scouts meeting on Tuesday and loved it. Now that football is over, he's able to go to meetings. I signed him up for basketball and paid the fee, but I dunno if he'll play or not. He's already told us a couple of times that he doesn't wanna play, which is fine by me (I can't stand basketball anyway); he has "tryouts" this evening at 6, so I suppose we'll see what happens then.
So, on Saturday I decided that I HAD to have a good meal, so the three of us took off to Charleston for a good dinner and to hopefully get a little shopping done. Well, it was a disaster from the word "go". I picked up DH and Conman and we took off, and decided to eat at a place called "Billy's". Thier tag line is "Just Good Food", and I wonder who came up with that tagline. It was just about the most horrible food I've ever had. I ordered turkey & dressing, and it was Stove-Top stuffing and a cooked-frozen-then-reheated turkey breast, so dry you could have used it as kindling. DH's meal was just as bad. Conman's dinner, fish sticks, was good, but man...you can't screw up fish sticks. After we paid our $40 for our came-from-a-box dinner, I realized that I needed to go to Logan to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, so we had to literally fly back to Logan from Charleston (with a quick stop at the house to pick up my wayward wallet) in order to get there before the pharmacy closed. We made it with time to spare - I thought the pharmacy closed at 6PM, turns out it closes at 7PM. Disgusted, disappointed and just...blah, we decided to just go home. We dropped Conman off at my parents' house then went to stop for smokes at the smoke shop only to find that they had JUST been robbed...so we went to the local grocery store, rented a couple of movies, bought my smokes and went home.
Sunday was better - we went to Famous Dave's for bar-b-que, then to Michael's to buy two poster frames for Conman's bedroom, then to the book store where I bought Peter Straub's Ghost Story and Stephen King's The Regulators and picked up a nifty Terry Pratchett compillation, then we looked at several other stores for a game for DH, and we finally found something at Wal-Mart; I got one too *grin*. So yeah, Sunday made up for the crappy Saturday.
I guess that's all for now. Just sorta trying to get things done around here and trying to relax at the same time (yeah, nearly impossible, I know). Until next time...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
(Re)Location, (Re)Location, (Re)Location
Today we began in earnest. We made the decision about a week ago. But today was the day.
Yep, we want to be outta Dodge in about 6 months. I applied for three jobs Down South in the past week, and DH applied for one BIG job Down South today. I also got in contact with a real estate agent Down South today, too. DH plans on applying for more jobs, and I will be getting in touch with the Down South JobBank tomorrow via telephone to find out how we apply for jobs and work with them on relocating from afar.
This is the culmination of a dream that's about 15 years old. I'm not good with the sun, my skin's too sensitive for salt water and sand, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I NEED to be near the sea. DH really wants this, too, and we will be working diligently to make it happen.
For once, I want to do something on my own that I want to do - I don't want to make the move at someone else's urging (like we did when we moved to North Carolina 10 years ago) - that only ended up with us coming back home 2 years later. It wasn't the right time, and we were never truly "at home" when we were down there. Now, with this move Down South, it's all us - WE have decided that this is what is right, WE have decided it's time, and actually, it's at the behest of everyone else that has any influence on our lives. Our friends will be sad to see us go - one has already told me as much - but at least she agrees that the time is right, and that this is the right thing to do. Heck, my BFF, when I told her I was going, said, "Hey, I might go with ya!"
If that's not a vote of confidence, I don't know what is.
So....therefore, wish us luck. We'd like to get everything done and get moved within 3 - 6 or 8 months. That includes new jobs, a new home, Conman enrolled in a new school, daycare secured, all the stuff that goes around with just daily life. It's a big proposition, especially with a young child, but I'm more ready for this than for anything I've ever been in my life.
Yep, we want to be outta Dodge in about 6 months. I applied for three jobs Down South in the past week, and DH applied for one BIG job Down South today. I also got in contact with a real estate agent Down South today, too. DH plans on applying for more jobs, and I will be getting in touch with the Down South JobBank tomorrow via telephone to find out how we apply for jobs and work with them on relocating from afar.
This is the culmination of a dream that's about 15 years old. I'm not good with the sun, my skin's too sensitive for salt water and sand, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I NEED to be near the sea. DH really wants this, too, and we will be working diligently to make it happen.
For once, I want to do something on my own that I want to do - I don't want to make the move at someone else's urging (like we did when we moved to North Carolina 10 years ago) - that only ended up with us coming back home 2 years later. It wasn't the right time, and we were never truly "at home" when we were down there. Now, with this move Down South, it's all us - WE have decided that this is what is right, WE have decided it's time, and actually, it's at the behest of everyone else that has any influence on our lives. Our friends will be sad to see us go - one has already told me as much - but at least she agrees that the time is right, and that this is the right thing to do. Heck, my BFF, when I told her I was going, said, "Hey, I might go with ya!"
If that's not a vote of confidence, I don't know what is.
So....therefore, wish us luck. We'd like to get everything done and get moved within 3 - 6 or 8 months. That includes new jobs, a new home, Conman enrolled in a new school, daycare secured, all the stuff that goes around with just daily life. It's a big proposition, especially with a young child, but I'm more ready for this than for anything I've ever been in my life.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Casting Call
So the boy's at the doctor's this morning, getting his feet casted so they can make his leg braces. I have no idea how long this process is gonna take, but again, my dad wanted to take him. He's got Vacation Bible School tonight and then he's coming home for the first time since Monday afternoon.
I think he's doing better walking; he seems to be thinking about putting his whole foot on the ground more often and not walking on his toes as much as he had been. It's this whole episode with his feet that's made me decide to reassess where my attention is lately. I kept thinking, it's just feet, it'll pass, he'll be okay. That's the way I've thought about a lot of stuff. Me thinking It's just A, it'll be okay, it doesn't need my attention. Well, the trip to the doctor where he said surgery was a little bit of a wake-up call. This was only his feet; what would have happened if it was something else that I ignored to follow my own interests? What if it had been an internal organ, or his eye, or a recurring headache? I could have killed my child because of my self-centeredness. It is my perogative as a mom to spend more time with him, to observe him, and to know what is going on with him. From now on, he comes first. No ifs, ands or buts.
I'm kinda glad for this episode, but I wish it hadn't have come to this. I wish that I would have had the sense to pay attention to him on my own, and that something like this didn't have to develop to get my attention. He's such a good kid, he doesn't deserve to have to go through physical therapy and wearing these braces.
Well, now you know where we are, and what's going on. Keep him in your prayers, and give thanks that it wasn't something worse.
I think he's doing better walking; he seems to be thinking about putting his whole foot on the ground more often and not walking on his toes as much as he had been. It's this whole episode with his feet that's made me decide to reassess where my attention is lately. I kept thinking, it's just feet, it'll pass, he'll be okay. That's the way I've thought about a lot of stuff. Me thinking It's just A, it'll be okay, it doesn't need my attention. Well, the trip to the doctor where he said surgery was a little bit of a wake-up call. This was only his feet; what would have happened if it was something else that I ignored to follow my own interests? What if it had been an internal organ, or his eye, or a recurring headache? I could have killed my child because of my self-centeredness. It is my perogative as a mom to spend more time with him, to observe him, and to know what is going on with him. From now on, he comes first. No ifs, ands or buts.
I'm kinda glad for this episode, but I wish it hadn't have come to this. I wish that I would have had the sense to pay attention to him on my own, and that something like this didn't have to develop to get my attention. He's such a good kid, he doesn't deserve to have to go through physical therapy and wearing these braces.
Well, now you know where we are, and what's going on. Keep him in your prayers, and give thanks that it wasn't something worse.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Been Busy...Argh...
So, yeah, I've been away. I know I haven't posted in a week or so, but I've been running around like you wouldn't believe.
The first thing that happened was I got my new tattoo (see last post). Here's the evidence:
Yeah, I like her. A lot. I'm exceptionally proud of the tattoo, and very pleased with the way she turned out. She's on my left shoulder, and is about 8" tall by 5" wide. That photograph was taken in the shop the day the work was done, so it looks a little red and inflamed; now, four days later, it's started to calm some and the red looks more gray now. What has it done for me? Made me want more (as usual). It's DH's turn now. Not to mention all my friends that have decided that they have to have new ink now, too.
Conman is back from vacation (yay!). He went to the beach with my parents, and from his frenetic description of all the things they did, it sounds like he had fantastic time. I missed him terribly, but I'm glad he got to go. We wouldn't have been able to go on vacation twice this year (once with him and once for our anniversary) so I'm glad mom and dad took him. He's my little bronze man...so tanned and his hair is so blond. So cute.
DH and I have finally got our vacation in late October / early November planned. It's our 10-year anniversary, so we decided we needed to take off and get away for a little while. We're going to the beach, one of my favorite spots in the entire world; DH just goes wherever I say. He doesn't care where we go, really, as long as he and I can spend some private time together. That's all that really matters, anyway.
So, I've had some other things on my mind, too, but I'm not quite ready to discuss it here (or with anyone, for that matter). More information to come as I get my mind set on what I really want to do.
That's the update, then. Posting again soon...stay tuned!
The first thing that happened was I got my new tattoo (see last post). Here's the evidence:
Yeah, I like her. A lot. I'm exceptionally proud of the tattoo, and very pleased with the way she turned out. She's on my left shoulder, and is about 8" tall by 5" wide. That photograph was taken in the shop the day the work was done, so it looks a little red and inflamed; now, four days later, it's started to calm some and the red looks more gray now. What has it done for me? Made me want more (as usual). It's DH's turn now. Not to mention all my friends that have decided that they have to have new ink now, too.Conman is back from vacation (yay!). He went to the beach with my parents, and from his frenetic description of all the things they did, it sounds like he had fantastic time. I missed him terribly, but I'm glad he got to go. We wouldn't have been able to go on vacation twice this year (once with him and once for our anniversary) so I'm glad mom and dad took him. He's my little bronze man...so tanned and his hair is so blond. So cute.
DH and I have finally got our vacation in late October / early November planned. It's our 10-year anniversary, so we decided we needed to take off and get away for a little while. We're going to the beach, one of my favorite spots in the entire world; DH just goes wherever I say. He doesn't care where we go, really, as long as he and I can spend some private time together. That's all that really matters, anyway.
So, I've had some other things on my mind, too, but I'm not quite ready to discuss it here (or with anyone, for that matter). More information to come as I get my mind set on what I really want to do.
That's the update, then. Posting again soon...stay tuned!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Moms and Dads and Father's Day
I went out for dinner with mom, dad and Conman for Father's Day yesterday at the only nice restaurant in the immediate area - the "Park Restaurant". They had a very nice buffet; the food was good, the atmosphere quiet and the view is beautiful. And the best part? The company was pleasant.
Yes, you read that right. I said, "The company was pleasant". Kinda hard to believe, eh?
I was late getting there yesterday, and instead of barking, why are you late!?!? mom said, Wow, you look fantastic today! We started talking about vacations (they leave a week from yesterday, and are taking Conman with 'em, DH and I aren't going on vacation until late October) and instead of saying, you can't afford to do that she was interested in the deals I got, where our hotel is located, and what we'll do while we're down there so late in the year. It's like some strange dream where my mom is "normal". I'm not quite comfortable with her yet - there's so much that's gone on that I can't just accept the way she's acting as the status quo yet; I'm still looking for the next snide remark or the next blowup. It may take a month or two for this to become the norm for me yet.
When I got home I thawed out some ground beef and made my homemade spaghetti sauce and a Drumstick Pie for DH for Father's Day. He wasn't home - he had to work yesterday (blah) but when he got home, dinner was just about ready, and he showered and had a good dinner with one of his favorite desserts. Conman had a couple of little presents for him, and I made a couple of Conman & DH-centric scrapbook pages, and all in all, I think he had a good Father's Day (though meager).
Last night I did my very first Karazhan run. We made it to Moroes with surprisingly minimal wipes. I had fun, but it was very, very frustrating for me. I couldn't use voice chat because of my internet connection, and about 90% of the time I had no idea what was going on. Couple that with a party member that couldn't keep his target under control, and it was...difficult...to say the least. All in all, I had a good time and would probably go again, but I would hope that (1) any group I go with would have an extreme level of patience with me and (2) those who go are a little more prepared.
That's all I got for right now. Hope all you guys had a happy Father's Day!
Yes, you read that right. I said, "The company was pleasant". Kinda hard to believe, eh?
I was late getting there yesterday, and instead of barking, why are you late!?!? mom said, Wow, you look fantastic today! We started talking about vacations (they leave a week from yesterday, and are taking Conman with 'em, DH and I aren't going on vacation until late October) and instead of saying, you can't afford to do that she was interested in the deals I got, where our hotel is located, and what we'll do while we're down there so late in the year. It's like some strange dream where my mom is "normal". I'm not quite comfortable with her yet - there's so much that's gone on that I can't just accept the way she's acting as the status quo yet; I'm still looking for the next snide remark or the next blowup. It may take a month or two for this to become the norm for me yet.
When I got home I thawed out some ground beef and made my homemade spaghetti sauce and a Drumstick Pie for DH for Father's Day. He wasn't home - he had to work yesterday (blah) but when he got home, dinner was just about ready, and he showered and had a good dinner with one of his favorite desserts. Conman had a couple of little presents for him, and I made a couple of Conman & DH-centric scrapbook pages, and all in all, I think he had a good Father's Day (though meager).
Last night I did my very first Karazhan run. We made it to Moroes with surprisingly minimal wipes. I had fun, but it was very, very frustrating for me. I couldn't use voice chat because of my internet connection, and about 90% of the time I had no idea what was going on. Couple that with a party member that couldn't keep his target under control, and it was...difficult...to say the least. All in all, I had a good time and would probably go again, but I would hope that (1) any group I go with would have an extreme level of patience with me and (2) those who go are a little more prepared.
That's all I got for right now. Hope all you guys had a happy Father's Day!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Back to Normal
...If that's what you call it.
Anyway, in fairly short order, life's gone back to the regular routine: Eat-sleep-internet crawl / chat - work - WoW. Exciting, eh?
Conman's tee-ball is just about over, and on June 6 so is school. That'll present a whole new set of challenges for us (child care, etc).
On a more personal, less overview-ish note, DH asked me an odd question on Sunday. He said, "Are you happy?" to which I answered yes, but then he asked, "No. I mean, are you really happy? With me? With us?" to which I answered that of course, I'm happy. I don't know what comes over him sometimes. It makes me look over the past couple of days and wonder what I've done to merit such a question. It makes me wonder if he's doing something that he shouldn't be (although when he'd find the time to get up to hijinx I dunno). It just makes a girl wonder.
I love my husband; always will. Yes, it's true I get lonely and melancholy from time to time, but that's only because it sometimes seems like we're just two people that happen to live in the same household, especially when schedules get crazy. He's gone 12 hours a day, comes home, spends about 3 hours awake before he goes to bed and starts the whole process over again. Me? Well, I have work on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday (usually) and then whenever I'm needed otherwise. The other days I sit here all day by myself waiting on him to come home, entertaining myself and occasionally doing the odd bit of housework. I look forward to DH getting home, and when he does get here, he's usually so tired that we just kinda sit and stare at each other. It's disheartening, and sometimes a bit of a let-down. No wonder I'm a bit downhearted. Perhaps it is my fault he asks questions like that.
Anyway, that's all I got for now. Signing off...
Anyway, in fairly short order, life's gone back to the regular routine: Eat-sleep-internet crawl / chat - work - WoW. Exciting, eh?
Conman's tee-ball is just about over, and on June 6 so is school. That'll present a whole new set of challenges for us (child care, etc).
On a more personal, less overview-ish note, DH asked me an odd question on Sunday. He said, "Are you happy?" to which I answered yes, but then he asked, "No. I mean, are you really happy? With me? With us?" to which I answered that of course, I'm happy. I don't know what comes over him sometimes. It makes me look over the past couple of days and wonder what I've done to merit such a question. It makes me wonder if he's doing something that he shouldn't be (although when he'd find the time to get up to hijinx I dunno). It just makes a girl wonder.
I love my husband; always will. Yes, it's true I get lonely and melancholy from time to time, but that's only because it sometimes seems like we're just two people that happen to live in the same household, especially when schedules get crazy. He's gone 12 hours a day, comes home, spends about 3 hours awake before he goes to bed and starts the whole process over again. Me? Well, I have work on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday (usually) and then whenever I'm needed otherwise. The other days I sit here all day by myself waiting on him to come home, entertaining myself and occasionally doing the odd bit of housework. I look forward to DH getting home, and when he does get here, he's usually so tired that we just kinda sit and stare at each other. It's disheartening, and sometimes a bit of a let-down. No wonder I'm a bit downhearted. Perhaps it is my fault he asks questions like that.
Anyway, that's all I got for now. Signing off...
Monday, April 21, 2008
I Am The Tooth Fairy
No, no quizzes today (I can hear you all breathe a collective sigh of relief). The high point of my Sunday, however, is this:
My dear, sweet Conman has lost his first tooth! He's so cute with his little holey grin. Anyway, in a moment of motherly "awwwwwww" ness, here's the tale.
Con was at Sunday School yesterday morning with my parents. He reached for a crayon in Sunday School class, and when he did the little girl sitting next to him raised up and her head bumped into his chin. It knocked the already loose tooth even further out of its socket. There was a little blood, but my fella said, "I didn't cry, though, mom. It didn't hurt. There was just a little blood." Once my dad got him to their house, it just took one good yank on the tooth and out it came. Conman said it didn't bleed when it was finally out. I suppose all the bleeding was done when head made contact with chin.
When he got home he proudly handed me his tooth in a Ziploc bag and said, "I have to put it under my pillow, mom, or the Tooth Fairy won't bring me any money!"
The kid came to me at 8:30pm on Sunday night and asked to go to bed. This kid never does that. More often than not, he's asking to stay up later than he should. I think when he went to bed he was as anxious for a visit from the Tooth Fairy as he is about a visit from Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.
So, I got to be a fairy tonight. I waited until about 12:30am to sneak into his room, remove the still-bagged tooth and replace it with a one dollar bill. I think he'll be pleased with that; we don't have much, and even though the kids at school have told him that a tooth will fetch the (much inflated) price of five bucks, I think he'll understand. He's a good boy. He deserves that five dollars, I wish I could give it to him, but one dollar will have to do.
Anyway, that's my mommy-moment for the week.
My dear, sweet Conman has lost his first tooth! He's so cute with his little holey grin. Anyway, in a moment of motherly "awwwwwww" ness, here's the tale.
Con was at Sunday School yesterday morning with my parents. He reached for a crayon in Sunday School class, and when he did the little girl sitting next to him raised up and her head bumped into his chin. It knocked the already loose tooth even further out of its socket. There was a little blood, but my fella said, "I didn't cry, though, mom. It didn't hurt. There was just a little blood." Once my dad got him to their house, it just took one good yank on the tooth and out it came. Conman said it didn't bleed when it was finally out. I suppose all the bleeding was done when head made contact with chin.
When he got home he proudly handed me his tooth in a Ziploc bag and said, "I have to put it under my pillow, mom, or the Tooth Fairy won't bring me any money!"
The kid came to me at 8:30pm on Sunday night and asked to go to bed. This kid never does that. More often than not, he's asking to stay up later than he should. I think when he went to bed he was as anxious for a visit from the Tooth Fairy as he is about a visit from Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.
So, I got to be a fairy tonight. I waited until about 12:30am to sneak into his room, remove the still-bagged tooth and replace it with a one dollar bill. I think he'll be pleased with that; we don't have much, and even though the kids at school have told him that a tooth will fetch the (much inflated) price of five bucks, I think he'll understand. He's a good boy. He deserves that five dollars, I wish I could give it to him, but one dollar will have to do.
Anyway, that's my mommy-moment for the week.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
'Cause I've Been Blog-Lazy
I need to post here. I like posting here. I'm sure you guys find some modicum of entertainment in what I write, 'cause like, you guys read it and stuff.
Going back to work has been a big adjustment. Fiddling between getting to work on time, doing my job and trying not to think about what might or might not be going on at home while I'm gone is a tough thing. On days when DH is home, I wonder what he's doing, if he's missing me, and what I'll do when I get home. When he's not home, I don't think about him at all if I can help it. I know that sounds cold, but if I think about him, I start worrying about him, wondering things like, is this the very second that my sweet husband is being injured at work? I know. I'm a fatalist at heart, I suppose.
Much the same goes for Conman. I try not to think about him, because of those same sorts of thoughts. Yeah, I know. I'm weird. But y'all already knew that. Or at least you should know it, anyway.
And now we're 1 month from the ELC. Oh, yeah, have I mentioned tee-ball has started? And mom and dad are going out of town for 16 days starting on April 29? *sigh* I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.
(Oh, and note to all you readers - as I mentioned, it's 1 month until ELC. Expect A LOT of "zomg, ELC, oh halp!" posts. All I can say is be glad you don't live with me.)
Last year the tee-ball and ELC was easier to manage. The league Conman played with didn't practice - their games were their practices - this year, they have practice and games. And now, with the job going, I have even more to manage. I have to arrange to get Conman to the practices and games when my hours at work (even though it's only three days of work) are as late as 7PM. On top of that, on my off-days, I have to finish up cleaning on the house and getting things ready for everyone.
Aaaaand speaking of cleaning the house - here's what's left to do.
#1 - Clean guest bathroom from ceiling to floor;
#2 - Put finishing touches on the kitchen cleaning and freaking keep it that way;
#3 - Remove massive amount of...stuff...from the computer room;
#4 - Vacuum entire house. A lot;
#5 - Finish up with outside stuff (i.e., get some garbage cans, weedeater everything, get new patio furniture, replace patio lights...);
#6 - Finalize Conman birthday plans; and
#7 - Tie up any loose ends and things that happen to "pop up" as we progress.
So, as you can see, I've almost got more I can handle. Thank goodness for the support of friends and family. I don't think I could survive without it.
Going back to work has been a big adjustment. Fiddling between getting to work on time, doing my job and trying not to think about what might or might not be going on at home while I'm gone is a tough thing. On days when DH is home, I wonder what he's doing, if he's missing me, and what I'll do when I get home. When he's not home, I don't think about him at all if I can help it. I know that sounds cold, but if I think about him, I start worrying about him, wondering things like, is this the very second that my sweet husband is being injured at work? I know. I'm a fatalist at heart, I suppose.
Much the same goes for Conman. I try not to think about him, because of those same sorts of thoughts. Yeah, I know. I'm weird. But y'all already knew that. Or at least you should know it, anyway.
And now we're 1 month from the ELC. Oh, yeah, have I mentioned tee-ball has started? And mom and dad are going out of town for 16 days starting on April 29? *sigh* I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.
(Oh, and note to all you readers - as I mentioned, it's 1 month until ELC. Expect A LOT of "zomg, ELC, oh halp!" posts. All I can say is be glad you don't live with me.)
Last year the tee-ball and ELC was easier to manage. The league Conman played with didn't practice - their games were their practices - this year, they have practice and games. And now, with the job going, I have even more to manage. I have to arrange to get Conman to the practices and games when my hours at work (even though it's only three days of work) are as late as 7PM. On top of that, on my off-days, I have to finish up cleaning on the house and getting things ready for everyone.
Aaaaand speaking of cleaning the house - here's what's left to do.
#1 - Clean guest bathroom from ceiling to floor;
#2 - Put finishing touches on the kitchen cleaning and freaking keep it that way;
#3 - Remove massive amount of...stuff...from the computer room;
#4 - Vacuum entire house. A lot;
#5 - Finish up with outside stuff (i.e., get some garbage cans, weedeater everything, get new patio furniture, replace patio lights...);
#6 - Finalize Conman birthday plans; and
#7 - Tie up any loose ends and things that happen to "pop up" as we progress.
So, as you can see, I've almost got more I can handle. Thank goodness for the support of friends and family. I don't think I could survive without it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
So, I'm Stealing This...
...from Miss Person-Whose-Blog-I-Read. I'm sure she'll understand, and won't mind.
Today, Miss Person(et. al.) wrote on her blog about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. She went through the whole list of needs and commented on them, putting in there how they fit into her own life. Because there's not an original thought in my head, I decided it would be a good idea to do the same, see how I size myself up against that list.
Physiological
Breathing - In, out, yeah. Got that.
Food - Too much, in fact.
Water - Well, coffee, soda pop and iced tea...but I reckon that contains "water", so yeah.
Sex - I'm happily married. VERY happily married.
Sleep - I get very little, and most of what I get is chemically induced, so I'd have to say a big fat "NO" on that one.
Homeostasis - Same thing, day in, day out. I'd say I've pretty much got this one licked.
Safety
Security of Body - My DH is home every night, watching over me and the Conman. I don't have anything at all to worry about on the safety issue.
Security of Employment - I just got a new job, so my job security is entirely my own domain. My performance in the next few weeks will determine whether or not I keep my job.
Security of Resources - Hmmm. Nope, I can't say I really have that. Our paychecks are small, and while my parents haven't let me down in the past, there's nothing to say that they won't in the future. In other words, so far the well's not dried up, but it might dry up tomorrow, it might dry up next week, or a month from now.
Security of Morality - Well, I've managed to stay married, happily, for nearly ten years, and I've learned painful lessons about honesty and doing what's right. I'd like to think I'm a moral person, but it's always a work in progress.
Security of the Family - My family is my proudest achievement. I love my DH with my whole heart; my son is an extension of that. I feel 100% secure in their love for me, as well. I think I've got this one pretty much on the money, too.
Security of Health - Well, this one's questionable. I haven't been to a doctor of any sort in about 2 years. I'm sure I probably have arthritis in a lot of my major joints, I'm sure my diabetes isn't completely under control, I probably need someone to administer a real, live diet program form me, and I'm sure I could probably benefit from some sort of counseling. Therefore, I'd have to put a big, fat NO on this one.
Security of Property - This is another "iffy" one. We own our things, but not really our property (meaning our house and our land). Can I pay for my house and land? No. Does that bother me? Hell yes.
Love & Belonging
Friendship - This one's a bit odd for me to answer. It really depends on your definition of "friend". Is a friend someone you physically spend time with? Is a friend someone you confess your darkest secrets to? Is a friend someone that you talk to often, and that you help and they help you back? I dunno what they are. I can say that I have many "acquaintances", not so many friends. I have one or two friends, and that's about it. It almost seems like the number dwindles every day, too.
Family - No problems here. I love my family (DH and Conman) more than anything in the world. I can't imagine my life without them.
Romantic - See above - Happily married. To a fantastically romantic man (in his own way).
Sexual Intimacy - See above - Happily, HAPPILY married. I love him dearly, and have the most intimate relationship I could ever imagine. There isn't anything we don't share, and we thoroughly enjoy one another.
Esteem
Self-esteem - I can't say that my self-esteem is very high. I can't stand my body, and I don't think myself very pretty. DH tells me I'm beautiful all the time, but he has to say that...he's married to me. *grin*
Confidence - I'm confident in my abilities. I am a more-than-competent writer, and a very competent employee, regardless of what job I'm doing. I'd say my confidence is pretty high.
Achievement - I'm not satisfied with my level of achievement. I would like to have been published by now, but I haven't been. I'd like to be a lot more than what I am, but money and opportunity keeps me from that right now. Hopefully in the future.
Respect of Others - I have a healthy respect for other people. I know that they do jobs of their own, and that they have areas of expertise that I don't have. I also respect their opinions and their views (as long as they don't try to "preach" them at me with an aim of conversion).
Respect by Others - I would like to think that I have others' respect, but I dunno. I would like to hear it more often if i do, but oh well. Can't have everything, I suppose.
Self-Actualization
I'm not even gonna go there. I know I'm alive, I know I'm a parent and a wife, I know that I am an employee, and I know that I'm a writer. That's enough for me.
Today, Miss Person(et. al.) wrote on her blog about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. She went through the whole list of needs and commented on them, putting in there how they fit into her own life. Because there's not an original thought in my head, I decided it would be a good idea to do the same, see how I size myself up against that list.
Physiological
Breathing - In, out, yeah. Got that.
Food - Too much, in fact.
Water - Well, coffee, soda pop and iced tea...but I reckon that contains "water", so yeah.
Sex - I'm happily married. VERY happily married.
Sleep - I get very little, and most of what I get is chemically induced, so I'd have to say a big fat "NO" on that one.
Homeostasis - Same thing, day in, day out. I'd say I've pretty much got this one licked.
Safety
Security of Body - My DH is home every night, watching over me and the Conman. I don't have anything at all to worry about on the safety issue.
Security of Employment - I just got a new job, so my job security is entirely my own domain. My performance in the next few weeks will determine whether or not I keep my job.
Security of Resources - Hmmm. Nope, I can't say I really have that. Our paychecks are small, and while my parents haven't let me down in the past, there's nothing to say that they won't in the future. In other words, so far the well's not dried up, but it might dry up tomorrow, it might dry up next week, or a month from now.
Security of Morality - Well, I've managed to stay married, happily, for nearly ten years, and I've learned painful lessons about honesty and doing what's right. I'd like to think I'm a moral person, but it's always a work in progress.
Security of the Family - My family is my proudest achievement. I love my DH with my whole heart; my son is an extension of that. I feel 100% secure in their love for me, as well. I think I've got this one pretty much on the money, too.
Security of Health - Well, this one's questionable. I haven't been to a doctor of any sort in about 2 years. I'm sure I probably have arthritis in a lot of my major joints, I'm sure my diabetes isn't completely under control, I probably need someone to administer a real, live diet program form me, and I'm sure I could probably benefit from some sort of counseling. Therefore, I'd have to put a big, fat NO on this one.
Security of Property - This is another "iffy" one. We own our things, but not really our property (meaning our house and our land). Can I pay for my house and land? No. Does that bother me? Hell yes.
Love & Belonging
Friendship - This one's a bit odd for me to answer. It really depends on your definition of "friend". Is a friend someone you physically spend time with? Is a friend someone you confess your darkest secrets to? Is a friend someone that you talk to often, and that you help and they help you back? I dunno what they are. I can say that I have many "acquaintances", not so many friends. I have one or two friends, and that's about it. It almost seems like the number dwindles every day, too.
Family - No problems here. I love my family (DH and Conman) more than anything in the world. I can't imagine my life without them.
Romantic - See above - Happily married. To a fantastically romantic man (in his own way).
Sexual Intimacy - See above - Happily, HAPPILY married. I love him dearly, and have the most intimate relationship I could ever imagine. There isn't anything we don't share, and we thoroughly enjoy one another.
Esteem
Self-esteem - I can't say that my self-esteem is very high. I can't stand my body, and I don't think myself very pretty. DH tells me I'm beautiful all the time, but he has to say that...he's married to me. *grin*
Confidence - I'm confident in my abilities. I am a more-than-competent writer, and a very competent employee, regardless of what job I'm doing. I'd say my confidence is pretty high.
Achievement - I'm not satisfied with my level of achievement. I would like to have been published by now, but I haven't been. I'd like to be a lot more than what I am, but money and opportunity keeps me from that right now. Hopefully in the future.
Respect of Others - I have a healthy respect for other people. I know that they do jobs of their own, and that they have areas of expertise that I don't have. I also respect their opinions and their views (as long as they don't try to "preach" them at me with an aim of conversion).
Respect by Others - I would like to think that I have others' respect, but I dunno. I would like to hear it more often if i do, but oh well. Can't have everything, I suppose.
Self-Actualization
I'm not even gonna go there. I know I'm alive, I know I'm a parent and a wife, I know that I am an employee, and I know that I'm a writer. That's enough for me.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
It's Moments Like These...
...that I am truly thankful for best friends.
They make ya think. All but force you to. Why? Because they have nothing to gain or lose from some of the decisions that you make; their motives are the purest of all - you and your family's best interests. What would be the best thing for you to be successful and happy and healthy and satisfied. What would be the best thing to make you suffer less - be it stress, pain, trials, things like that.
I had a best friend moment this afternoon. One of those up there that makes me think about the path that I'm on. I'm satisfied for the most part with my life - I like my family more than I can express; I like my physical location, but there are several snags associated with it that takes away from my happiness and overall satisfaction.
My mother and I have never had a good relationship. I can generally tolerate her presence, but on the whole, she make my life (and the life of my family) completely unbearable. I "deal" daily with her pointing out my shortfalls, my disappointments, my failures. Never has she pointed out my accomplishments. And it's just not in one corner of my life, it's in every. single. aspect. of my daily life. I don't keep a clean enough house. I don't feed my child "healthy, well-balanced meals". I don't do enough to further the well-being of my family. There's nothing I do that meets her standards. The worst part? She owns my home, and lives about five minutes away. I can't get away from her even if I want to.
My best friend and I talk about her often - it's one of the ways that I've developed to deal with the way she makes me feel. It's recently (just this morning...again) been pointed out to me that if I don't get out from under her, it's going to eventually kill me. That's not an exaggeration, that's the honest truth, from someone outside looking in, from someone who has nothing to gain from telling me this, from someone who has nothing but the best interests of me and my family at heart.
Now I'm thinking about what I ought to do. My best friend is right about all of this. It's going to kill me eventually - either that or put me in a mental institution, or turn me into some sort of destructive addict. For the sake of my family, I NEED to get away. Where do I go, though? What would I do? When you make $700 every two weeks, how do you even begin to make a change that would be a positive step for your family without putting them in jeopardy in the meantime? I'm confused. I'm scared. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to be my own person.
They make ya think. All but force you to. Why? Because they have nothing to gain or lose from some of the decisions that you make; their motives are the purest of all - you and your family's best interests. What would be the best thing for you to be successful and happy and healthy and satisfied. What would be the best thing to make you suffer less - be it stress, pain, trials, things like that.
I had a best friend moment this afternoon. One of those up there that makes me think about the path that I'm on. I'm satisfied for the most part with my life - I like my family more than I can express; I like my physical location, but there are several snags associated with it that takes away from my happiness and overall satisfaction.
My mother and I have never had a good relationship. I can generally tolerate her presence, but on the whole, she make my life (and the life of my family) completely unbearable. I "deal" daily with her pointing out my shortfalls, my disappointments, my failures. Never has she pointed out my accomplishments. And it's just not in one corner of my life, it's in every. single. aspect. of my daily life. I don't keep a clean enough house. I don't feed my child "healthy, well-balanced meals". I don't do enough to further the well-being of my family. There's nothing I do that meets her standards. The worst part? She owns my home, and lives about five minutes away. I can't get away from her even if I want to.
My best friend and I talk about her often - it's one of the ways that I've developed to deal with the way she makes me feel. It's recently (just this morning...again) been pointed out to me that if I don't get out from under her, it's going to eventually kill me. That's not an exaggeration, that's the honest truth, from someone outside looking in, from someone who has nothing to gain from telling me this, from someone who has nothing but the best interests of me and my family at heart.
Now I'm thinking about what I ought to do. My best friend is right about all of this. It's going to kill me eventually - either that or put me in a mental institution, or turn me into some sort of destructive addict. For the sake of my family, I NEED to get away. Where do I go, though? What would I do? When you make $700 every two weeks, how do you even begin to make a change that would be a positive step for your family without putting them in jeopardy in the meantime? I'm confused. I'm scared. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to be my own person.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Weekend in Review
So, over the weekend, DH, Conman and I did a "Dinner and a Movie" package at a local hotel. It was Conman's spring break week, and we decided that we needed to do something, no matter how small, to sort of "get away" with him. Y'know, make him feel like he'd actually had a spring break.
We left here at about 11am on Saturday and got there close to noon. We checked into the hotel (four hours early) and got our vouchers for the dinner and the movie. We went to Olive Garden (from here in known as "the OG") and tucked into one of our favorite meals. For a change, the boy ate nearly everything on his plate. My food was good, but there was a considerable absence of gravy on my pasta. I didn't complain, but I did clean my plate. We left and went back to the hotel where DH took a nap (he wasn't feeling 100%) and Conman and I donned our bathing suits and headed to the pool.
The pool was nice - the water was warm, not too crowded - but there was so much chlorine in the water that it was cloudy. After only an hour or so, my skin was itching and I was having trouble breathing in the pool's enclosure. The boy didn't want to leave, but I pulled him outta the pool, dried off, and we headed back to the room. After a few minutes snacking on over-priced vending machine sodas and candy bars, we headed out to do some shopping before hitting the movies. We didn't buy anything, but still - shopping's fun. At about 6:30 or so we hit the movies and watched Horton Hears a Who, which for a cartoon, was really, REALLY good (even though I'm not a backer of Dr. Seuss as a whole). After the movie we hit Maggie Moo's for enormous quantities of "mix-in" ice cream, and then off to Wal-Mart for some sodas (75c for a CAN of soda is just not in my financial picture). By that time, it was 10:30pm, WAY past the boy's bedtime, and he was flagging. We let him sit up and watch tv as long as he could hold his eyes open, but in a half an hour he was snoring. DH and I finished up watching The Matrix: Reloaded and then turned off the boob tube and went to sleep (or tried to).
The next morning, we woke up whenever we damn well felt like it - which translates to about 8am. Conman and I went down to have some complimentary breakfast (and I the most horrible coffee on the planet) and then, when we came back, DH decided he wanted a sausage biscuit. I hit Panera Bread Company for some good coffee, and brought him back a breakfast panini with sausage on it. Got myself some sort of cinnamon bagel thing (which rocked) to share with the boy. As we ate, we planned our day and watched Stewart Little (which the boy LOVED). With all that settled, we packed up and moved out - to Michael's craft store. We got Conman some supplies he needed for school, picked him up a mini-canvas to paint on, and bought me some stuff to make us a new "name plaque" to hang outside. Then, off to the house we went.
I enjoyed our trip. It's nice to shake up the norm a little bit every now and then.
We left here at about 11am on Saturday and got there close to noon. We checked into the hotel (four hours early) and got our vouchers for the dinner and the movie. We went to Olive Garden (from here in known as "the OG") and tucked into one of our favorite meals. For a change, the boy ate nearly everything on his plate. My food was good, but there was a considerable absence of gravy on my pasta. I didn't complain, but I did clean my plate. We left and went back to the hotel where DH took a nap (he wasn't feeling 100%) and Conman and I donned our bathing suits and headed to the pool.
The pool was nice - the water was warm, not too crowded - but there was so much chlorine in the water that it was cloudy. After only an hour or so, my skin was itching and I was having trouble breathing in the pool's enclosure. The boy didn't want to leave, but I pulled him outta the pool, dried off, and we headed back to the room. After a few minutes snacking on over-priced vending machine sodas and candy bars, we headed out to do some shopping before hitting the movies. We didn't buy anything, but still - shopping's fun. At about 6:30 or so we hit the movies and watched Horton Hears a Who, which for a cartoon, was really, REALLY good (even though I'm not a backer of Dr. Seuss as a whole). After the movie we hit Maggie Moo's for enormous quantities of "mix-in" ice cream, and then off to Wal-Mart for some sodas (75c for a CAN of soda is just not in my financial picture). By that time, it was 10:30pm, WAY past the boy's bedtime, and he was flagging. We let him sit up and watch tv as long as he could hold his eyes open, but in a half an hour he was snoring. DH and I finished up watching The Matrix: Reloaded and then turned off the boob tube and went to sleep (or tried to).
The next morning, we woke up whenever we damn well felt like it - which translates to about 8am. Conman and I went down to have some complimentary breakfast (and I the most horrible coffee on the planet) and then, when we came back, DH decided he wanted a sausage biscuit. I hit Panera Bread Company for some good coffee, and brought him back a breakfast panini with sausage on it. Got myself some sort of cinnamon bagel thing (which rocked) to share with the boy. As we ate, we planned our day and watched Stewart Little (which the boy LOVED). With all that settled, we packed up and moved out - to Michael's craft store. We got Conman some supplies he needed for school, picked him up a mini-canvas to paint on, and bought me some stuff to make us a new "name plaque" to hang outside. Then, off to the house we went.
I enjoyed our trip. It's nice to shake up the norm a little bit every now and then.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Signs
I've read over the past two posts, and something seemed to jump out at me. Let me explain for ya:
1. Conman wakes up mumbling about not being left out of something.
2. Conman finds my ring the next day.
Now, it may be a stretch for some of y'all to connect, but it's almost like Conman was dreaming about finding my ring, and couldn't express it, and was trying to tell me that he had dreamed about something that he didn't want to miss. Could that "something" have been my ring?
I'm a believer in signs. I know that a lot of people, this day and age, don't really believe in them. People say, God doesn't send you signs - if he wants to do something for you he'll just do it. That's not the way I look at it, though. I think that with the really, really big stuff, God likes to prepare us, heart and soul, with smaller things. If we have something that we might consider "bad" on the horizon to deal with that we might not be able to see, He sends us a little heartbreak to prepare us for the big stuff. Likewise with the good stuff; if something is on the horizon that will make our heart soar, God's gonna send us a little blessing to get us in the right frame of mind to deal with all the joy He's about to send our way.
So, there's my theory on the past couple of days. Conman found my ring and I felt like I was walking in the clouds. I think it's a sign, and a good one at that. I can feel that there are better things on the horizon, and my heart's in the right place for it. I haven't been this happy, content, joyful, thankful, or felt like I was on the "right path" as I do right now in the past...oh....five or six years. It just feels right.
1. Conman wakes up mumbling about not being left out of something.
2. Conman finds my ring the next day.
Now, it may be a stretch for some of y'all to connect, but it's almost like Conman was dreaming about finding my ring, and couldn't express it, and was trying to tell me that he had dreamed about something that he didn't want to miss. Could that "something" have been my ring?
I'm a believer in signs. I know that a lot of people, this day and age, don't really believe in them. People say, God doesn't send you signs - if he wants to do something for you he'll just do it. That's not the way I look at it, though. I think that with the really, really big stuff, God likes to prepare us, heart and soul, with smaller things. If we have something that we might consider "bad" on the horizon to deal with that we might not be able to see, He sends us a little heartbreak to prepare us for the big stuff. Likewise with the good stuff; if something is on the horizon that will make our heart soar, God's gonna send us a little blessing to get us in the right frame of mind to deal with all the joy He's about to send our way.
So, there's my theory on the past couple of days. Conman found my ring and I felt like I was walking in the clouds. I think it's a sign, and a good one at that. I can feel that there are better things on the horizon, and my heart's in the right place for it. I haven't been this happy, content, joyful, thankful, or felt like I was on the "right path" as I do right now in the past...oh....five or six years. It just feels right.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Saga of The Ring
Aside from the obvious Tolkien reference, I have a story to tell.
Back before Christmas, I lost my wedding band. I know how I lost it, but that's a story I'd rather not relate here (as it's a bit embarrassing), but suffice it to say it was gone. Note I said was - but we'll get to that in a minute.
Anyway, the ring was gone. We tore the house apart; went through the dining room, moved the couch in the computer room, went through every conceivable nook and cranny in my warren of a house looking for my most prized possession, the one piece of jewelry that I rarely take off, the very symbol of my union with DH. We didn't find it, even after several days of searching.
So, a couple of weeks before Christmas, DH and I decide that we're never going to find it, it's been consumed by the "house monster" and that I might as well just accept my heartbreak and go buy a new one. That was my Christmas gift for 2007 - a shiny, new wedding band, engraved this time (we couldn't afford it when we got married - they charged $5 per letter, and that was just WAY out of our budget then), and slightly wider, but still, close enough for the average observer. The point was, though, *I* knew the difference. It wasn't the one blessed by our reverend, it wasn't the one he put on my hand and then kissed me to seal the deal. It just wasn't the one.
I got my new ring and wore it with pride, but with a broken heart. I had given up on finding my ring, the ring, and hoped that maybe, someday, if we ever sell this house and have to move everything out, it might get shaken loose and then I'd have it. Maybe.
Then today came. Conman came in with his newest Lego creation, and was showing me how awesome it was, and how it could jump the wrinkle in the rug that covers the television cord that crosses the floor. I was in my normal mode, answering, "Yeah!" and "That's cool!" without really looking, paying attention but not. All of a sudden, I hear:
"Oh my gosh! Mommy! Mommy! Look! It's your ring!!"
My mouth hit the floor. He slipped it on his hand, on the finger that I wear my rings on - the "Wedding finger" - and rushes to my side. I pull off my engagement ring and the replacement and he, like his father ten years ago, slips the ring onto my finger. I almost cried.
I hugged him and hugged him and showered his face with kisses. I picked up every quarter I could find on my desk (because somehow, kisses didn't seem reward enough) and handed them to him. I hugged him some more, kissed him some more, and professed my undying love for him. He then asked, "What are you going to do with the other one, Mom?", to which I answered, "Well, I'm going to wear them both together. And when you get married some day, I'll give you one of them to give to your wife. How's that?" He said, "I think that would be really neat, Mom. Thanks!"
So there you have the saga of the ring. Miracles do happen...even little ones.
Back before Christmas, I lost my wedding band. I know how I lost it, but that's a story I'd rather not relate here (as it's a bit embarrassing), but suffice it to say it was gone. Note I said was - but we'll get to that in a minute.
Anyway, the ring was gone. We tore the house apart; went through the dining room, moved the couch in the computer room, went through every conceivable nook and cranny in my warren of a house looking for my most prized possession, the one piece of jewelry that I rarely take off, the very symbol of my union with DH. We didn't find it, even after several days of searching.
So, a couple of weeks before Christmas, DH and I decide that we're never going to find it, it's been consumed by the "house monster" and that I might as well just accept my heartbreak and go buy a new one. That was my Christmas gift for 2007 - a shiny, new wedding band, engraved this time (we couldn't afford it when we got married - they charged $5 per letter, and that was just WAY out of our budget then), and slightly wider, but still, close enough for the average observer. The point was, though, *I* knew the difference. It wasn't the one blessed by our reverend, it wasn't the one he put on my hand and then kissed me to seal the deal. It just wasn't the one.
I got my new ring and wore it with pride, but with a broken heart. I had given up on finding my ring, the ring, and hoped that maybe, someday, if we ever sell this house and have to move everything out, it might get shaken loose and then I'd have it. Maybe.
Then today came. Conman came in with his newest Lego creation, and was showing me how awesome it was, and how it could jump the wrinkle in the rug that covers the television cord that crosses the floor. I was in my normal mode, answering, "Yeah!" and "That's cool!" without really looking, paying attention but not. All of a sudden, I hear:
"Oh my gosh! Mommy! Mommy! Look! It's your ring!!"
My mouth hit the floor. He slipped it on his hand, on the finger that I wear my rings on - the "Wedding finger" - and rushes to my side. I pull off my engagement ring and the replacement and he, like his father ten years ago, slips the ring onto my finger. I almost cried.
I hugged him and hugged him and showered his face with kisses. I picked up every quarter I could find on my desk (because somehow, kisses didn't seem reward enough) and handed them to him. I hugged him some more, kissed him some more, and professed my undying love for him. He then asked, "What are you going to do with the other one, Mom?", to which I answered, "Well, I'm going to wear them both together. And when you get married some day, I'll give you one of them to give to your wife. How's that?" He said, "I think that would be really neat, Mom. Thanks!"
So there you have the saga of the ring. Miracles do happen...even little ones.
Feet in the Night
So, it's no secret to those who know me that I'm a chronic insomniac. I thought about something this evening though, that makes that somewhat okay, though.
When Conman was younger, he would trot off to bed at 9PM without so much as a word. He'd crawl in there, happy with a tuck-in, a quick story, a kiss from me and a whispered "I love you, boy." I'd get the sweetest words ever, back; "I love you too, mommy. I'll see ya in the morning. Oh, and mommy? Are you and daddy gonna watch some TV?" My answer would be, "Yes, son, we'll be watching TV for a while." He would then say back to me, "Good. I can't go to sleep if I don't hear it."
Now, I know from way back that "I can't sleep if I don't hear the TV" is Conman-speak for I just want to make sure you and dad are going to be in the next room for a while. I feel better when I know you guys are so close, and can go to sleep. I play along with the TV charade, though, because it makes him feel like a "big boy". Now, though, he's waking up more and more often while I'm watching TV after DH has gone to bed. I don't up the volume (we have a strict "5" rule at our house after 9PM) and often turn it to one of the satellite music channels where the volume is even lower. He gets up and comes to me, climbs in my lap and says something incoherent. This evening the conversation went something like this:
"Mommy....I....wanted to make sure....I won't miss out....on..."
"What honey? What did you say?"
"Are you watching TV?"
"Yes, sweetheart, I'm watching TV."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Conman, honey, what are you afraid you'll miss out on?"
"Dunno."
"Okay then. Mommy won't let you miss out on anything if I can help it, okay?"
"Okay. Mmm...bed now."
"Okay sweetheart, let's go"
The fella jumped up off my lap and held my hand while I walked him back to the bedroom, helped him climb into bed and tucked him in, safe and sound, next to the stuffed beagle we call "Puppy". Kiss on the forehead from mom, and "I love you, son." / "I love you, mommy." exchange. I close the door with a great, big, huge smile on my face.
Just another day (or night) in paradise.
When Conman was younger, he would trot off to bed at 9PM without so much as a word. He'd crawl in there, happy with a tuck-in, a quick story, a kiss from me and a whispered "I love you, boy." I'd get the sweetest words ever, back; "I love you too, mommy. I'll see ya in the morning. Oh, and mommy? Are you and daddy gonna watch some TV?" My answer would be, "Yes, son, we'll be watching TV for a while." He would then say back to me, "Good. I can't go to sleep if I don't hear it."
Now, I know from way back that "I can't sleep if I don't hear the TV" is Conman-speak for I just want to make sure you and dad are going to be in the next room for a while. I feel better when I know you guys are so close, and can go to sleep. I play along with the TV charade, though, because it makes him feel like a "big boy". Now, though, he's waking up more and more often while I'm watching TV after DH has gone to bed. I don't up the volume (we have a strict "5" rule at our house after 9PM) and often turn it to one of the satellite music channels where the volume is even lower. He gets up and comes to me, climbs in my lap and says something incoherent. This evening the conversation went something like this:
"Mommy....I....wanted to make sure....I won't miss out....on..."
"What honey? What did you say?"
"Are you watching TV?"
"Yes, sweetheart, I'm watching TV."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Conman, honey, what are you afraid you'll miss out on?"
"Dunno."
"Okay then. Mommy won't let you miss out on anything if I can help it, okay?"
"Okay. Mmm...bed now."
"Okay sweetheart, let's go"
The fella jumped up off my lap and held my hand while I walked him back to the bedroom, helped him climb into bed and tucked him in, safe and sound, next to the stuffed beagle we call "Puppy". Kiss on the forehead from mom, and "I love you, son." / "I love you, mommy." exchange. I close the door with a great, big, huge smile on my face.
Just another day (or night) in paradise.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
In The Midst Of It Post
So, one down, one to go.
Did the kindergarten project today. I was glad that it didn't take too long, and there was absolutely no screaming, no crying, and no bloodshed. At all. I'm so proud of myself. Moreover, I'm proud of the kids! I expected that they wouldn't be that interested in my proclamation that "Okay, guys, I'm a writer...", but it was met with unexpected "oooohs" and "aaaaaahs". Restores my faith that pure joy in the written word isn't dead, and our schools are doing a little bit of something right. I'd say kindergarten-ers being impressed with a writer is proof enough of that.
They did a fantastic job filling in the blanks for the project, and their coloring was fantastic. Now, they have a book that they helped to create and they can be proud of. I'm glad the teacher let me come in and do it - I had a lot of fun and I think the kids did, too.
Tomorrow is the speaking engagement at the middle school. A little more difficult, but I've done it before and know what to expect. I think they're going to have a good time with the speech and the interactions I'm planning.
On another, completely unrelated note - Aunt Flo is here. I'm going to tell you, I'd rather take a beating than have a period. If someone walked up to me and said, "If you take this severe beating, you don't have to have a period this month," my answer would be, "Okay, just let me take off my glasses 'cause they're expensive, and don't break any bones, my health insurance sucks."
That's it - I'll post the rundown of tomorrow's festivities either tomorrow evening or Thursday. Until then, have fun!
Did the kindergarten project today. I was glad that it didn't take too long, and there was absolutely no screaming, no crying, and no bloodshed. At all. I'm so proud of myself. Moreover, I'm proud of the kids! I expected that they wouldn't be that interested in my proclamation that "Okay, guys, I'm a writer...", but it was met with unexpected "oooohs" and "aaaaaahs". Restores my faith that pure joy in the written word isn't dead, and our schools are doing a little bit of something right. I'd say kindergarten-ers being impressed with a writer is proof enough of that.
They did a fantastic job filling in the blanks for the project, and their coloring was fantastic. Now, they have a book that they helped to create and they can be proud of. I'm glad the teacher let me come in and do it - I had a lot of fun and I think the kids did, too.
Tomorrow is the speaking engagement at the middle school. A little more difficult, but I've done it before and know what to expect. I think they're going to have a good time with the speech and the interactions I'm planning.
On another, completely unrelated note - Aunt Flo is here. I'm going to tell you, I'd rather take a beating than have a period. If someone walked up to me and said, "If you take this severe beating, you don't have to have a period this month," my answer would be, "Okay, just let me take off my glasses 'cause they're expensive, and don't break any bones, my health insurance sucks."
That's it - I'll post the rundown of tomorrow's festivities either tomorrow evening or Thursday. Until then, have fun!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Busy....Again...
Well, this is "hell-week" for me.
I have to finish up the kindergarten book today and tonight, and tomorrow I have to outline the speech for the middle school on Tuesday night to be used on Wednesday, all day.
Therefore, Mama Calli probably won't post again until Thursday (if I survive); on that day, I will post the recap of my days with many children. Heaven help the little darlings.
I have to finish up the kindergarten book today and tonight, and tomorrow I have to outline the speech for the middle school on Tuesday night to be used on Wednesday, all day.
Therefore, Mama Calli probably won't post again until Thursday (if I survive); on that day, I will post the recap of my days with many children. Heaven help the little darlings.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Educational Conundrum
Conman is a good student for being in kindergarten. He generally does his assignments completely (he has a short attention span sometimes and leave some stuff out) and since his kindergarten teacher has started doing "spelling tests", (usually about 7 three-letter words) he has gotten 100% on all of them but the first one. For a five year old, I think that's pretty good. His teacher is impressed with his behavior and reading ability, and she says, "he hates writing his numbers to 100 - he does it, but he hates it". Well, duh. Mommy's a writer, not a mathematician.
Now, I told you that so I can tell you this.
When I was school-age, perfection was expected of me by my parents. I got punished for anything less than an "A" on report cards and papers, and my math scores were perpetually low igniting the wrath of my mother. I never could grasp math, hated it, and didn't see the point; that didn't stop mom from driving me insane with things like, "Why aren't your grades as good as (my friends)? I just don't get it. You should be better than them!"
Now, add that to the constant harping about my weight (I wasn't fat, but athletic and muscular, but because I didn't wear a size 4 I was "fat"), her insistence that I take endless piano lessons even though I hated them, and you have one paranoid kid with some serious low self-esteem. She pretty much ruined my attitude about myself early on, and continues these same behaviors any time she gets the chance. My concern is with Conman - her one and only grandson.
When he rides the bus to their house after school, she insists on reading over every single shred of work he's done that day in school, and berates him for even one missed question. "Conman, why did you do this wrong? Don't you know this is wrong? You should know this!" Most of the time, if I'm there while she's doing it, I call her on it, but I wonder about the times when I'm not there; my dad's very meek and doesn't say anything to her about anything, even if he knows what she's doing is wrong.
It isn't that I don't have high expectations for my child - I do; I just understand and realize that complete and utter perfection isn't possible all the time. Hell, it isn't possible any time - there was only one perfect person, and the world crucified him; I don't expect anything out of my child that I don't expect out of myself. He works hard, and I'm proud of him for that. He learns his lessons, and can explain things to me in kindergarten that I didn't learn until I was at least in first or second grade. He spells, he reads, he adds and subtracts, he can identify money and it's value...and he's five years old.
I don't want my mother to ruin my child like she ruined me. He's a beautiful child with the world open in front of him, and I don't want anyone to make him feel like he's less than he is. I want to instill in him that with hard work anything is possible, and that he can't be perfect all the time and that's okay, and that mistakes and disappointments are a part of life and things that shouldn't upset us, but that we ought to learn from. Mom makes him think he's "bad" because he does things wrong sometimes or because he doesn't live up to her expectations.
I think it's time for another "conversation" with mom, even though I'm just about positive it'll be fruitless in the end. She already thinks I'm a horrible, lazy, neglectful mother to my boy, so it's doubtful that she would actually listen to me on this. The boy's education ought to be between me, the boy, DH and his teachers, and that's the final word. Will that happen? Probably not. But we'll give it a shot.
Now, I told you that so I can tell you this.
When I was school-age, perfection was expected of me by my parents. I got punished for anything less than an "A" on report cards and papers, and my math scores were perpetually low igniting the wrath of my mother. I never could grasp math, hated it, and didn't see the point; that didn't stop mom from driving me insane with things like, "Why aren't your grades as good as (my friends)? I just don't get it. You should be better than them!"
Now, add that to the constant harping about my weight (I wasn't fat, but athletic and muscular, but because I didn't wear a size 4 I was "fat"), her insistence that I take endless piano lessons even though I hated them, and you have one paranoid kid with some serious low self-esteem. She pretty much ruined my attitude about myself early on, and continues these same behaviors any time she gets the chance. My concern is with Conman - her one and only grandson.
When he rides the bus to their house after school, she insists on reading over every single shred of work he's done that day in school, and berates him for even one missed question. "Conman, why did you do this wrong? Don't you know this is wrong? You should know this!" Most of the time, if I'm there while she's doing it, I call her on it, but I wonder about the times when I'm not there; my dad's very meek and doesn't say anything to her about anything, even if he knows what she's doing is wrong.
It isn't that I don't have high expectations for my child - I do; I just understand and realize that complete and utter perfection isn't possible all the time. Hell, it isn't possible any time - there was only one perfect person, and the world crucified him; I don't expect anything out of my child that I don't expect out of myself. He works hard, and I'm proud of him for that. He learns his lessons, and can explain things to me in kindergarten that I didn't learn until I was at least in first or second grade. He spells, he reads, he adds and subtracts, he can identify money and it's value...and he's five years old.
I don't want my mother to ruin my child like she ruined me. He's a beautiful child with the world open in front of him, and I don't want anyone to make him feel like he's less than he is. I want to instill in him that with hard work anything is possible, and that he can't be perfect all the time and that's okay, and that mistakes and disappointments are a part of life and things that shouldn't upset us, but that we ought to learn from. Mom makes him think he's "bad" because he does things wrong sometimes or because he doesn't live up to her expectations.
I think it's time for another "conversation" with mom, even though I'm just about positive it'll be fruitless in the end. She already thinks I'm a horrible, lazy, neglectful mother to my boy, so it's doubtful that she would actually listen to me on this. The boy's education ought to be between me, the boy, DH and his teachers, and that's the final word. Will that happen? Probably not. But we'll give it a shot.
Friday, February 29, 2008
To-Do List
First, before I break bad into the meat of this post, I would like to say that I am disappointed that "quarterlife" has been canceled on NBC. They're moving it to an NBC cable affiliate, so at least it's not going away entirely, and I'll still be able to watch it. Article about it here.
Okay. On to the rest of the stuff.
I am writing a "to-do list" so that maybe I can get started and actually get something done. I have so much to do that I end up not doing anything at all and just getting more and more behind and frustrated. So, to that end, we're doing a to-do list.
Okay. On to the rest of the stuff.
I am writing a "to-do list" so that maybe I can get started and actually get something done. I have so much to do that I end up not doing anything at all and just getting more and more behind and frustrated. So, to that end, we're doing a to-do list.
- Email the high school principle;
- Create speech for the middle-school speaking engagement;
- Create speech for the high-school speaking engagement;
- Buy the thick poster board for the kindergarten volunteer project;
- Create story and "big book" for the kindergarten volunteer project;
- Finish work on the ELC event t-shirt;
- Do some laundry;
- Do some dishes;
- Start on massive cleaning overhaul of my house (in preparation for the ELC);
- Prepare for Conman's birthday party (including buying stuff for cake decorating, party decorations and invitations); and
- Begin thinking about what I'm going to get Conman for his birthday.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Status: Monday
So here I sit in front of my computer surfing the internet yet again. As usual.
Anyway, here's the status report for the past weekend, what happened, what's on tap, all that good stuff.
First off, Miss Rox, if you're reading this (and don't even pretend like you're not), send me an email so that I can add you to my email list of contacts. And when the Don's not at work I'm terribly bored and need someone to talk to. So yeah, send me an email.
Secondly, I'm having my second double-size cup of joe for the morning. Good stuff. Of course, coffee's always better when someone else makes it for you (I love DH).
Third, Conman was sick on Friday, and thank goodness he got over it over the weekend. He was running a mild fever, and Motrin could handle it, no problem. He's back in school fit as a fiddle, if not a little tired.
Fourth, the SC website is back up, praise the powers of the internet. My addiction has been fed and website withdrawal DTs have been averted.
Went to see "Finding Nemo" Disney on Ice Friday night. In spite of the sound being REALLY bad, the show was pretty good - the skating was good, and the costumes and sets were really pretty. I enjoyed this one A LOT more than "Monsters, Inc." last year (mostly because "Monsters, Inc." scared the poop outta Conman). Despite being slightly feverish and tired, Conman really enjoyed it, too.
That's about it for now. Happy surfing, internet world!
Anyway, here's the status report for the past weekend, what happened, what's on tap, all that good stuff.
First off, Miss Rox, if you're reading this (and don't even pretend like you're not), send me an email so that I can add you to my email list of contacts. And when the Don's not at work I'm terribly bored and need someone to talk to. So yeah, send me an email.
Secondly, I'm having my second double-size cup of joe for the morning. Good stuff. Of course, coffee's always better when someone else makes it for you (I love DH).
Third, Conman was sick on Friday, and thank goodness he got over it over the weekend. He was running a mild fever, and Motrin could handle it, no problem. He's back in school fit as a fiddle, if not a little tired.
Fourth, the SC website is back up, praise the powers of the internet. My addiction has been fed and website withdrawal DTs have been averted.
Went to see "Finding Nemo" Disney on Ice Friday night. In spite of the sound being REALLY bad, the show was pretty good - the skating was good, and the costumes and sets were really pretty. I enjoyed this one A LOT more than "Monsters, Inc." last year (mostly because "Monsters, Inc." scared the poop outta Conman). Despite being slightly feverish and tired, Conman really enjoyed it, too.
That's about it for now. Happy surfing, internet world!
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