I've always said that when something stopped being fun was when it was time to move on. That goes for anything that I choose to do in life, not just the ways I choose to entertain myself.
The problem is, where does fun turn into obligation? Where does "I do it because I like to" become "I do it because that's what everyone expects"? I'm struggling with that question right now.
It seems that rather than getting closer to the core activities of the people I choose to spend my "off time" with, I seem to be moving further and further away. I spend most evenings sitting alone in "virtual silence" because everyone I used to just sit and chat with are off busy doing something else. Something that I'm not interested in doing (believe me, I've tried to learn, I've tried to be excited about it myself, and it just ain't happenin' - I'm not excited, could care less, actually). It seems like the social organization I joined is morphing into something that I can't appreciate, especially since I feel like I'm on the outside looking in at all my pals having what appears to be a great time, smiling and laughing and enjoying one another, but doing an activity that I just can't get interested in myself.
So, I hang on, outside, on the fringes. Watching everyone have their good times and smiling a little to myself. Smiling that sad, why not me? smile, wondering what I can do to bring that feeling of the "good 'ole days" back, and knowing down deep inside that they ain't coming back.
The obligation has taken over.
And no, it's just not fun anymore.
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