Frustrations, Worries and Disappointments

Frustrations
Well, first off, I'm frustrated with the relocation thing. I know, I'm impatient, but it's been 2 weeks and I have applied for many, many jobs, and I haven't heard a peep back from anyone. I've been applying on-line, so you would think I would at least get a "hey, yeah, we got your application, thank you!" or "you know, I really don't think we could hire you, since you currently live 10 hours away. Let us know when you move in locally. Thanks."

Nope. Nothing. Not a peep. Kinda frustrating, and a little disheartening. I've got to do this on my "off-time" when I'm not working, and I don't have the time (not to mention the money) to just hop in the car and run Down South and apply for a job at the drop of a hat. I wish I did, but I don't. It almost seems like you've got to live there before you can work there, and well...we don't live there.

Worries
Will we ever live there? I dunno. Is it the right thing for us to do? I dunno. DH seems to think it's the right thing - he wants to get me away from my mother to save my sanity (and believe me, I need it). He thinks it's a good thing for the boy, too, because we want to raise him to love and respect them, but not to be like them. The lives of my parents are so filled with negativity, I don't want him to think that's what life is all about. If we get away from here, we can raise him the way we want to.

The question now becomes, will we ever actually go? DH thinks we will on that one, too. I've been looking at different kinds of loans and see if it's possible to get the loan, go down, buy a house and have a little left over to live on for a couple of months while we find work. I don't know if that's possible - it looks like our interest rate is going to be about 7% (perhaps even 8%), and property taxes are a bit higher Down South than they are here. It's a lot to think about - DH says that the higher interest rate is the cost of moving down there and getting out. I'm just about willing to pay that price.

The last thing that I've been worrying about is the house we live in now. What's going to happen to it? I don't want to leave dad holding the bag on this property. Granted, we haven't paid anything on this house in almost 3 years, and it doesn't appear on our credit report (therefore our name must not be on the mortgage anywhere). I don't know how this is going to work when we go to apply for a loan. I don't know if it will affect what kind of money we'll get, or if a loan and home purchase would be contingent on the sale of this house, or what. We did it once before - up and moved out of a house we had bought, leaving it to mom and dad to take care of it - and I would feel really guilty about essentially doing it again. It's pretty much definite that we would need SOMEONE's help to do this, but after the history, the hard feelings and their insecurities with us, how do you ask someone something like that? I just don't know if I can even ask for advice, much less help with a down payment or something like that.

Disappointments
These are not so much mine, but other people's. I'm sure it's disappointing that I'm not writing something juicy, just this mundane stuff about a move that might not happen. This is where my focus is right now, and it's all that I'm thinking about, so it's what I'm writing about.

So, those of you who read this blog who are of the prayin' type, start your prayer engines. This is something we really want to do, something we think we ought to do, and something we're prepared to work hard for. I appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts.