Yep, Commercials Again.

Why? 'Cause some of 'em freak me right the hell out.

First on my list this time is the freaky swelling-head Sudafed commercial. First off, it ain't even realistic. Show a woman with a really bad headache brought on by sinus congestion, yes. Illustrate this fact by causing her head to swell to overfilled helium balloon proportions, no. Don't go there, man, please. If I saw someone like that in the really-real world, Sudafed is the last freakin' thing I'd think she needed. A really long, sharp hat-pin, maybe, or a mortician.

The next is the freaky Dairy Queen lips. Now, my son loves these, and imitates them incessantly. Torrrr-tilllll-aaah. Nailed it! Lord, I hear it in my dreams. But that's not the worst part. It's disembodied lips and teeth, for goodness' sake...that's just weird. And I gotta tell you, it doesn't make me want a luscious, sweet Dairy Queen treat the least little bit.

The last one is for a cold medicine, too. Alka-Seltzer Plus cold stuff. I'm sure it does what it says, but I'm pretty sure that the method of utilizing this stuff is not what they illustrate on the commercial. I don't think you put the tabs in a short glass of water, set said glass on the floor, and proceed to dive your shrinking, sniffling behind into said glass. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to drink the stuff, not shrink and dive in...

I suppose this displays a trend in commercials that I dislike - the un-natural shrinking or growing of a person and/or body part. Just don't do it, commercial-type-advertising people. It ain't right, I tell ya. Just don't do it. Let me drink my Alka-Seltzer Plus, no helium-balloon-headed women to show me sinus congestion, and for the sake of all that's holy, no more disembodied stuff. Please.

Short Hairstyle Experiment #1

Name: Hot Rollers.
Result: Blond Molly Ringwald, circa Breakfast Club
Repeat?: Abso-freakin'-lutely not.

In My Own Time And Place

I read a book this evening. Yep, an entire book.

The lady that lived next door to me as I was growing up wrote her memoirs, and she autographed a copy of the book especially for me and sent it to me through my mom. Mom gave it to me at about 8:30PM this evening, and as of about half an hour ago, I've finished it.

I'm not going to talk about the grammar and such of the book - that's not the point - the point is, this woman lived a fantastic life, and many of the things she did I had no idea about. She was an old(er) woman when I knew her, and she's over 90 years old now. She still volunteers weekly at the local hospital with the auxiliary. Anyone with enough spunk to not only continue to work into their 90's but also to write their life's story has my vote. They could spell "pizza" as p-e-e-t-s-u-h and I'd read it.

Anyway, she was a dear woman, and treated me as one of her own. I love her dearly, and appreciate that she considers me and my mom and dad as family, as the book was primarily written and printed for family alone. So, thank you for my copy of your book. It has been read, appreciated, and will remain a treasured part of my collection for many years to come. Thank you for my copy, and thank you for my place in your heart.

Hair Helmet of Doom

When I was a young girl of, oh, say 10 or 11, I vowed to always keep my hair long and flowing free; I didn't want to have short hair that was shaped into a semi-permanent helmet around my head like my mother wore. I didn't want anything that was "me" to be like hers, and my hair was at the top of my list.

Now, mom has dark hair and I'm blond, and I don't like myself with darker hair (my complexion can't pull it off), so there's no worries there. The slight possibility did exist, though, that I would one day cut my hair.

I tried to cut it short at 19, and went for the classic "page boy" style -- what some might call "the bob". Well, to be honest with ya, that was a total disaster. The style made my head look exceptionally HUGE, and at that point, I vowed yet again to never cut my hair off again. Trim off split and dead ends, yes, but actually cut it off? Absolutely not.

Enter 1 young child and 1 husband, a busy household and hair that drove me ab.so.lute.ly. nuts. With all these things coming together at just the right time, and in a fit of insanity I went to my beautician (who is actually a good friend and former classmate of mine) and said, "That's it, cut it off. Now." She did. I love it. Easy to style, a "modern" style, too. But today, as I was styling my hair in preparation of getting Conman from school, it hit me.

I am my mother.

And...

I have a hair helmet.

It has happened. I now proudly wear my hair helmet armored with Mega-Hold Hairspray. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor damp of night will penetrate the shellac on my head. Don't get me wrong, it looks good -- at least I think it does, anyway -- and it feels good to actually wear a hairstyle for a change.

My mother, the woman who is pleased by nothing, actually complimented me on my new haircut when I first got it. Reckon I know why, now...

A Word From Our "Sponsors"

So, I haven't written much about my guild life lately because, well, our game card ran out and I haven't been in game in about a month. We simply haven't had the fundage to buy two $30 game cards when things like, oh, light and heat are a tad more important (not that I've been paying those bills recently, either) than buying stuff for entertainment purposes only. I've been playing The Sims 2, too, but that's loosing its luster as well. I'm missing the game, missing my friends, too, and just generally feeling a bit lonely on the days that DH is gone to work. When Conman's not here or is at school, I spend most of my time alone, and I have to tell you, it's trying.

Anyway, I'm terrified about when I do go back to the game and the guild as to what I'll come back to. I mean, I love them all dearly (as much as you can share familial love with someone's on-line persona) and to know that they're strained by stuff that's going on breaks my heart. I should be the very one to be able to understand it, as I'm an officer, but to be quite honest, I don't. I don't get why people want to put so much stock in one thing over the other, when we all got into it because we just want to have fun. I think the problem is that everyone believes that their style of play is the predominant style of play across the guild and (unintentionally) don't consider the play styles of others.

I don't know. It matters in the course of my on-line, social relationships with these people, but in the greater scheme of things, in the long view when I look at my life and the impact that this situation will have on me long-term, it looks like everything else. I mean, when I was doing the MUD, I can remember thinking, this is one of the most important things I've ever done in my life. Now, when I look back on it, I see that it didn't really impact me that much over the long run. It gave me a little bit of leadership ability (but really, how much did it give me? I mean, we hosted a game of oh, 10 or so regular players who didn't really listen to me anyway), gave me a little bit of completely obsolete technical knowledge, and (didn't develop) sustained my writing ability. Not much impact in the long run.

Then, there was the Everquest stage. We had fun (I think) because we were playing with friends - DH, SS1, BFF and H/BFF, and me. We were in a "clan" or "guild" or whatever it is they call them on there, but believe me, I've tried, and I can't remember the name of it. Those people were my friends, too, but they've faded like an old pair of jeans. I can't even remember any of the people in the guild with me anymore (with the exception of the five of us who played together incessantly).

The SC is different, though, at least I think so. With the SC, I don't want to forget them. I don't want them to fade into a distant memory of "those people I used to game with". But let's be honest - if I don't got and buy a game card, if I don't go back to the game (don't necessarily leave the SC, but just don't play any more) how many would truly, really miss me? How many would say, out of the blue, Man, I wish Calli were back, I REALLY miss her! on some random night in guild chat? I suppose that is what I'm struggling with. I felt like a big fish, but my pond is much smaller than I had ever imagined. Yeah, WoW has 8 million players and my guild has been recognized by Blizzard as being "an elite guild", but that doesn't mean that we're recognized by anyone outside the game for anything we've done in the game.

I suppose what I mean is that all this trouble, all this turmoil in the guild is, down at the core of it, meaningless. That is why I was so embarrassed by my outburst at one meeting I attended, and why I think of it as a "smudge" against my reputation. No matter how many good works I do from that point forward, I'll always be the crazy lady who cried on TS.

I think what I want is something that is real - some thing that I can wrap my hands and my heart around, point to in my dotage and say, look what I have done with my friends. Yeah, I enjoy socializing. Yeah, I enjoy working out problems with my friends. However, I don't enjoy knowing that in ten years' time, none of us will remember this, none of us will remember each other, and nothing we've done will be something we can point to as an achievement in our lives. That is a bit disappointing, when you think about it.

Sometimes I wish that I had never taken that first promotion up to semi-leader. I promised myself and DH when we started playing this game that it wouldn't be like it's always been in the past - I wouldn't nose my way in and be friends with "the management" like I have before (on MY first MUD I wasn't friends with just the "Immortal" staff, but with the freakin' creator of the MUD; on my [our] second MUD I was friends with the Ims and the Implementors [Imps]; I was friends with the guild leaders in Everquest). What happened, though? I became friends with the SC leadership out of no effort of my own. GL is my very best on-line friend, and he's (duh) my Guild Leader. What the hell is wrong with me?

*sigh*

So, I guess I'm questioning what it's all about, what it all means, and where I fit and where it all fits in the greater scheme of life. Its Monday, and I've said I'll be back by Friday or Saturday, so I suppose I've got until then to figure it out.