I know, I know, it's unusual, but still. Got something on my mind, and no one around to really vent about it to.
I was looking at some pictures this afternoon of a girl, and it struck me. She's an incredibly hot woman; young, firm, smooth skin, fantastic hair, striking eyes. As I looked at those pictures it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll never be that brand of sexy, nor have I ever been that brand of sexy. Granted, this girl is 19 and I'm staring 33 squarely in the buttocks, but still. I wouldn't mind being the older, more experienced version of 19-year-old-sexy. As it stands, I'm the frumpy mom-next-door brand of inconspicuous.
Yes, I know, I have the power to change that. Fix myself up (been doing that - I've just about got the hair-and-makeup thing down), lose some weight (working on that, too - down almost 50 pounds since this time last year) and dress better (that one's difficult to come by - gotta have cash to look good). I can hear some of you out there wondering why I would want to blend into the crowd of over-done girls and women who strive so hard to be the "hot chick". That answer is simple - I've never been that girl - I've never been the one that people (male or female) looks at and says, Wow...just...wow, and I'd like to experience that, just once, before I die.
Let's pray that we have plenty of time for me to accomplish that goal. I think it's gonna take a few sharp scalpels, some medical-grade plastic and a huge vial of sucked-out fat for me to get there, but no harm in wishing, is there?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Back to Normal
...If that's what you call it.
Anyway, in fairly short order, life's gone back to the regular routine: Eat-sleep-internet crawl / chat - work - WoW. Exciting, eh?
Conman's tee-ball is just about over, and on June 6 so is school. That'll present a whole new set of challenges for us (child care, etc).
On a more personal, less overview-ish note, DH asked me an odd question on Sunday. He said, "Are you happy?" to which I answered yes, but then he asked, "No. I mean, are you really happy? With me? With us?" to which I answered that of course, I'm happy. I don't know what comes over him sometimes. It makes me look over the past couple of days and wonder what I've done to merit such a question. It makes me wonder if he's doing something that he shouldn't be (although when he'd find the time to get up to hijinx I dunno). It just makes a girl wonder.
I love my husband; always will. Yes, it's true I get lonely and melancholy from time to time, but that's only because it sometimes seems like we're just two people that happen to live in the same household, especially when schedules get crazy. He's gone 12 hours a day, comes home, spends about 3 hours awake before he goes to bed and starts the whole process over again. Me? Well, I have work on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday (usually) and then whenever I'm needed otherwise. The other days I sit here all day by myself waiting on him to come home, entertaining myself and occasionally doing the odd bit of housework. I look forward to DH getting home, and when he does get here, he's usually so tired that we just kinda sit and stare at each other. It's disheartening, and sometimes a bit of a let-down. No wonder I'm a bit downhearted. Perhaps it is my fault he asks questions like that.
Anyway, that's all I got for now. Signing off...
Anyway, in fairly short order, life's gone back to the regular routine: Eat-sleep-internet crawl / chat - work - WoW. Exciting, eh?
Conman's tee-ball is just about over, and on June 6 so is school. That'll present a whole new set of challenges for us (child care, etc).
On a more personal, less overview-ish note, DH asked me an odd question on Sunday. He said, "Are you happy?" to which I answered yes, but then he asked, "No. I mean, are you really happy? With me? With us?" to which I answered that of course, I'm happy. I don't know what comes over him sometimes. It makes me look over the past couple of days and wonder what I've done to merit such a question. It makes me wonder if he's doing something that he shouldn't be (although when he'd find the time to get up to hijinx I dunno). It just makes a girl wonder.
I love my husband; always will. Yes, it's true I get lonely and melancholy from time to time, but that's only because it sometimes seems like we're just two people that happen to live in the same household, especially when schedules get crazy. He's gone 12 hours a day, comes home, spends about 3 hours awake before he goes to bed and starts the whole process over again. Me? Well, I have work on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday (usually) and then whenever I'm needed otherwise. The other days I sit here all day by myself waiting on him to come home, entertaining myself and occasionally doing the odd bit of housework. I look forward to DH getting home, and when he does get here, he's usually so tired that we just kinda sit and stare at each other. It's disheartening, and sometimes a bit of a let-down. No wonder I'm a bit downhearted. Perhaps it is my fault he asks questions like that.
Anyway, that's all I got for now. Signing off...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
*Phew*
Well, it's over.
Even though last year was a lot of fun, I think this year topped it by a mile and then some. We laughed ourselves silly, and had a chance to talk a little bit face-to-face about some guild issues. A good time and a little productive, too!
By about 5:30pm on Friday, everyone was here and we left to go out for pizza. I gave out our little gifts to the Don and one other guild member (for his graduation). The Don loved his tabard (yay! I can say it now!) and we all ate way more than we should have.
On Saturday, we had the birthday party for Conman. ONE of his classmates came, and E (D's son) and a little girl from Conman's church were the only kids outside the ELC that came to his party. Low attendance aside, the kids had a BLAST - the ones who were not here for the entire weekend are STILL talking about how much fun they had. The Don somehow got involved in a huge water fight with the kids and everyone involved ended up soaked to the bone. Later, after the party, we ate fantastic pasta sauce and rigatoni with salad and bread created by the Don, and then sat around the fire talking. Yes, yes, I fulfilled my promise and sang for them, too. No, there is not video evidence, but there were many witnesses.
On Sunday the ladies (Erudismom and the Don's wife) cleaned up some while I got the chili for our dinner on. We didn't have anything planned for early on Sunday, so we did some (more) filming for the "guild videos" of the weekend. Once we ate dinner, we all changed into our ELC shirts and took the group picture for the 2008 gathering. The kids were beginning to get antsy, so we did our best to entertain them until our 6pm date with the bowling alley. Once that rolled around, we all went and had a great time. I went bowling knowing I couldn't beat DH, so my goal was to beat the Don in at least one game (which I did) even though he creamed me the second game. DH ended up winning "the tournament" (and subsequently the 250g in-game pot we all put up), but I beat the Don. I achieved my goal.
The kids all went to bed Sunday night, and we spent our last night together out at the firepit laughing and talking until way too late. On Monday morning, everyone got their things together and sat out. I was sad that the 2008 ELC was over, and look forward to next year.
It's a lot of work, but man, I love having it at my house. I love seeing everyone that comes, and spending time with friends face-to-face. I can't wait until ELC 2009!
Even though last year was a lot of fun, I think this year topped it by a mile and then some. We laughed ourselves silly, and had a chance to talk a little bit face-to-face about some guild issues. A good time and a little productive, too!
By about 5:30pm on Friday, everyone was here and we left to go out for pizza. I gave out our little gifts to the Don and one other guild member (for his graduation). The Don loved his tabard (yay! I can say it now!) and we all ate way more than we should have.
On Saturday, we had the birthday party for Conman. ONE of his classmates came, and E (D's son) and a little girl from Conman's church were the only kids outside the ELC that came to his party. Low attendance aside, the kids had a BLAST - the ones who were not here for the entire weekend are STILL talking about how much fun they had. The Don somehow got involved in a huge water fight with the kids and everyone involved ended up soaked to the bone. Later, after the party, we ate fantastic pasta sauce and rigatoni with salad and bread created by the Don, and then sat around the fire talking. Yes, yes, I fulfilled my promise and sang for them, too. No, there is not video evidence, but there were many witnesses.
On Sunday the ladies (Erudismom and the Don's wife) cleaned up some while I got the chili for our dinner on. We didn't have anything planned for early on Sunday, so we did some (more) filming for the "guild videos" of the weekend. Once we ate dinner, we all changed into our ELC shirts and took the group picture for the 2008 gathering. The kids were beginning to get antsy, so we did our best to entertain them until our 6pm date with the bowling alley. Once that rolled around, we all went and had a great time. I went bowling knowing I couldn't beat DH, so my goal was to beat the Don in at least one game (which I did) even though he creamed me the second game. DH ended up winning "the tournament" (and subsequently the 250g in-game pot we all put up), but I beat the Don. I achieved my goal.
The kids all went to bed Sunday night, and we spent our last night together out at the firepit laughing and talking until way too late. On Monday morning, everyone got their things together and sat out. I was sad that the 2008 ELC was over, and look forward to next year.
It's a lot of work, but man, I love having it at my house. I love seeing everyone that comes, and spending time with friends face-to-face. I can't wait until ELC 2009!
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