Epic Dolls

Well, I should have made this post on like, Tuesday night, but to be honest I've been slammed this week.

I'm honored, excited and so full of appreciation to the Epic Dolls for giving me the opportunity to strut my writing stuff on their blog in a weekly column. I think I'm going to REALLY enjoy writing for them. I've always wanted to write about World of Warcraft in a "professional" manner, and this is finally my opportunity to do so.

The writing that I do for WoW isn't the normal gear / raid strat / spec talk. I enjoy all that stuff, but just about universally don't understand it. I want it to be someone else's responsibility to tell me what mob I ought to hit; I'm not interested in changing a spec; and I'm always up for some new gear, but let's be honest here - I'm too lazy to go after it.

My primary focus is on the social side of MMO gaming. I love the way people interact with one another, the way they pull together for a common goal, and the friendships that can be formed. If you have a question about social interaction within WoW, I'm your girl. If you wanna know if your [Shifty Cape of Much Slapping] is good for your Healing Priest build, you're better off asking someone else.

So, I'm excited about writing about what I know, and being encouraged to do so. I'll be rotating between two different column styles - the first will be a "Dear Abbey" type thing where people write in to ask my advice about stuff. The second will be a hints-and-tips type column for people who are interested in making their guild more socially-active. I just hope people will find the information I provide useful.

That's it - That's the good news. If you're interested in reading more about the Epic Dolls, use the link above or just click on their link in the "Things I Observe" section over there on the left. It's a great site and a great podcast!

Educational Conundrum

Conman is a good student for being in kindergarten. He generally does his assignments completely (he has a short attention span sometimes and leave some stuff out) and since his kindergarten teacher has started doing "spelling tests", (usually about 7 three-letter words) he has gotten 100% on all of them but the first one. For a five year old, I think that's pretty good. His teacher is impressed with his behavior and reading ability, and she says, "he hates writing his numbers to 100 - he does it, but he hates it". Well, duh. Mommy's a writer, not a mathematician.

Now, I told you that so I can tell you this.

When I was school-age, perfection was expected of me by my parents. I got punished for anything less than an "A" on report cards and papers, and my math scores were perpetually low igniting the wrath of my mother. I never could grasp math, hated it, and didn't see the point; that didn't stop mom from driving me insane with things like, "Why aren't your grades as good as (my friends)? I just don't get it. You should be better than them!"

Now, add that to the constant harping about my weight (I wasn't fat, but athletic and muscular, but because I didn't wear a size 4 I was "fat"), her insistence that I take endless piano lessons even though I hated them, and you have one paranoid kid with some serious low self-esteem. She pretty much ruined my attitude about myself early on, and continues these same behaviors any time she gets the chance. My concern is with Conman - her one and only grandson.

When he rides the bus to their house after school, she insists on reading over every single shred of work he's done that day in school, and berates him for even one missed question. "Conman, why did you do this wrong? Don't you know this is wrong? You should know this!" Most of the time, if I'm there while she's doing it, I call her on it, but I wonder about the times when I'm not there; my dad's very meek and doesn't say anything to her about anything, even if he knows what she's doing is wrong.

It isn't that I don't have high expectations for my child - I do; I just understand and realize that complete and utter perfection isn't possible all the time. Hell, it isn't possible any time - there was only one perfect person, and the world crucified him; I don't expect anything out of my child that I don't expect out of myself. He works hard, and I'm proud of him for that. He learns his lessons, and can explain things to me in kindergarten that I didn't learn until I was at least in first or second grade. He spells, he reads, he adds and subtracts, he can identify money and it's value...and he's five years old.

I don't want my mother to ruin my child like she ruined me. He's a beautiful child with the world open in front of him, and I don't want anyone to make him feel like he's less than he is. I want to instill in him that with hard work anything is possible, and that he can't be perfect all the time and that's okay, and that mistakes and disappointments are a part of life and things that shouldn't upset us, but that we ought to learn from. Mom makes him think he's "bad" because he does things wrong sometimes or because he doesn't live up to her expectations.

I think it's time for another "conversation" with mom, even though I'm just about positive it'll be fruitless in the end. She already thinks I'm a horrible, lazy, neglectful mother to my boy, so it's doubtful that she would actually listen to me on this. The boy's education ought to be between me, the boy, DH and his teachers, and that's the final word. Will that happen? Probably not. But we'll give it a shot.

To-Do List Update II(a)

Just finished the Kindergarten project story. Here's hoping it's something the kids can follow. What we're doing is making up a story of 23 sentences (one sentence for each kid in class) and leaving a blank in the sentence for the child to fill in. There will be a picture on the page as well, just an outline, so that each child can color "their page" in the story, too. Hopefully, DH won't have too much trouble sketching out the pictures that I've designated for each sentence. *grins at DH*

So, maybe this To-Do List thing works - in one weekend, that's four things off the list. Ahh...I feel weightless...

To-Do List Update II and....Stuff...

So, strike the ELC t-shirt off the list - thanks to the Don and his massive powers of the upload, the ELC t-shirt is finally done and ready for purchase! Yay! Thanks, the Don!

That's three down! Yay!

The next-easiest thing to do on that list ought to be the story for the kindergarten project, but man, that one has me completely stymied. I don't have any idea what to do for that, and the date is drawing nigh. After that, writing out the speech outline for the middle-school speaking engagement is the next-easiest. I'm contemplating "winging it" for that one, though, as I have a pretty good idea of what I want to talk about, and I think I can hit all my points fairly easily and efficiently (I have to fill six 55-minute periods. About 45 minutes of that will be "speech", and 15 minutes will be question-and-answer.). I'm going to talk about (a) being a writer, (b) writer's tools, (c) "Cosmic Pants" theory, (d) world-building, (e) character-building, and finally, (e) physical writer's tools (helpful books and software and such). Some of this may be heavily modified and watered down since I'm speaking to 5th graders. If I get the high school speaking engagement, I can go a little more technical, I suppose.

After that, all I have left is the cleaning and other preparations for the ELC. Hopefully DH will help me a lot with that, since I'm the world's worst housekeeper.

On a final note, I know there's a bunch of you out there that read this blog pretty often. I'm not completely adverse to hearing what you think, so comment back to me! I like to hear what you have to say, and I like feeling like someone is reading this (even though I see the SiteMeter number go up every day). So yell back at me, y'all!

To-Do List Update

Well, I managed to email the principal at the high school on Friday, and on Saturday I bought the supplies I need to make the kindergarten project. Now if I could just figure out what kind of story to write for the tykes I'll be on my way.

Yeah, I'm a slacker. It's a fact of life.

To-Do List

First, before I break bad into the meat of this post, I would like to say that I am disappointed that "quarterlife" has been canceled on NBC. They're moving it to an NBC cable affiliate, so at least it's not going away entirely, and I'll still be able to watch it. Article about it here.

Okay. On to the rest of the stuff.

I am writing a "to-do list" so that maybe I can get started and actually get something done. I have so much to do that I end up not doing anything at all and just getting more and more behind and frustrated. So, to that end, we're doing a to-do list.

• Email the high school principle;
• Create speech for the middle-school speaking engagement;
• Create speech for the high-school speaking engagement;
• Buy the thick poster board for the kindergarten volunteer project;
  
• Create story and "big book" for the kindergarten volunteer project;
• Finish work on the ELC event t-shirt;
• Do some laundry;
• Do some dishes;
  
• Start on massive cleaning overhaul of my house (in preparation for the ELC);
  
• Prepare for Conman's birthday party (including buying stuff for cake decorating, party decorations and invitations); and
• Begin thinking about what I'm going to get Conman for his birthday.
  

Maybe with this up here I'll get something done. I'll try and keep you updated on my progress.

"quarterlife"

So, I watched this new show on NBC on Tuesday night. I really liked it. I’m of the “Thirtysomething” and “My So Called Life” generation – it’s no wonder this show appeals to me.

Anyway, I like TV shows like this – shows that make you think about yourself. This is one that I can really relate to. I’m a lot like those characters in “quarterlife”, even now, into my 30’s. I wonder if what I’m doing is the right thing, and I wonder a lot of the times if I’m where I belong.

Don’t take that on its face – I’m exactly where I wanna be right now. I have a fantastic husband that loves me for me, and the most beautiful little boy you’ve ever laid eyes on. What I mean is I wonder if I’m keeping up with what I’ve set out for myself (uh, no) and I wonder if the path I’ve picked is even the right one. Should I be struggling as a writer or should I be looking at other things? Do I have the talent that I think I do? Can I count on this, or anything, to be something that sustains me spiritually, emotionally, and financially as I and my family moves through life?

I don’t know. I can’t see the future, can’t even hazard a guess. I do know that I like what I do, and I like where I am. As for the “rightness” of it? I have no idea.

Even now, at thirty-two, I don’t feel like I’m an “adult” yet. I’m somehow stuck in 1993, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to take on the world, fresh out of high school and invincible. Is that really where I am? Hell, no. In all actuality, I’m fifteen years removed from that moment that I can’t let go of. Fifteen years beyond possibility, fifteen years beyond choice, fifteen years beyond irresponsibility. I have a real-live life now that I have made promises to and am beholden to; I can’t afford to be the person that I was fifteen years ago in any form or fashion. Is it wrong for me to continually mourn that? Probably. Does that stop me? Hell, no.

So where does that leave me? A heck of a lot like the characters in “quarterlife”; questioning my life, my place in the world, and what I do day in and day out. I don’t have the answers, and my questions far outnumber the answers I do have. I suppose I’ll just continue to make funny faces at myself in the mirror every morning and scratch my head in utter confusion.

Why not? It’s worked up until now.