So, what I neglected to put in my post yesterday was that I spent all day on Wednesday with...(drumroll)...my mother. And guess what? Not once was I tempted to reach across the kitchen table and strangle her. I think it's because we were doing something - scrapbooking - that she knows I know about and that she has no clue about, therefore, she couldn't take control of the situation. She had to sit and watch and listen and pick up on things rather than say, "We're doing it MY way."
Well, regardless, I think I've created a monster. We took a field trip to Wally-World to pick up some supplies and she picked up an additional two - count 'em - two - blank albums. She wants to do one album for her travels, one album for Conman, and an album for my grandma for a Christmas present. She's gathering up her pictures, pulling out the ones she likes and we're going on another supplies buying expedition to Huntington on Monday. Together. Yikes.
We never can get through much of a day out, alone, without some kind of argument. I hope this time it's better. I hope she's interested enough in what we're doing to think about that and not about nit-picking me the whole time. That's usually what starts it, her aggrevating me over something small and stupid, and me needing to brain her with something to get her to shut up. This time, though, I have high hopes. She has purpose, and for once, my purpose aligns with hers.
Wish me luck. I think I'll need it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Since we last talked...
Not a lot has happened.
First, finances are somewhat better. I'm not saving $100 a paycheck anymore now that vacation's over, but I'm thinking about after Christmas starting to save again. Our TV is about to go kaput (the sound keeps going in and out - getting REALLY LOUD and then really quiet over and over again without anyone touching the volume controls) and I'd really like to save enough to get a 40" LCD HD TV and a Blue-Ray dvd player (our dvd player is about 10 years old...the viable life for those things is 3 years). But anyway...I've got to get Christmas out of the way first. Gotta get gifts for Conman (which is the bulk of my purchases) and a couple of other people, too. Thank goodness I bought some gifts back in the summer and already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. Why? Well, we need a new Christmas tree this year, and all new outside decorations, too. Yay.
Conman went to his first Cub Scouts meeting on Tuesday and loved it. Now that football is over, he's able to go to meetings. I signed him up for basketball and paid the fee, but I dunno if he'll play or not. He's already told us a couple of times that he doesn't wanna play, which is fine by me (I can't stand basketball anyway); he has "tryouts" this evening at 6, so I suppose we'll see what happens then.
So, on Saturday I decided that I HAD to have a good meal, so the three of us took off to Charleston for a good dinner and to hopefully get a little shopping done. Well, it was a disaster from the word "go". I picked up DH and Conman and we took off, and decided to eat at a place called "Billy's". Thier tag line is "Just Good Food", and I wonder who came up with that tagline. It was just about the most horrible food I've ever had. I ordered turkey & dressing, and it was Stove-Top stuffing and a cooked-frozen-then-reheated turkey breast, so dry you could have used it as kindling. DH's meal was just as bad. Conman's dinner, fish sticks, was good, but man...you can't screw up fish sticks. After we paid our $40 for our came-from-a-box dinner, I realized that I needed to go to Logan to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, so we had to literally fly back to Logan from Charleston (with a quick stop at the house to pick up my wayward wallet) in order to get there before the pharmacy closed. We made it with time to spare - I thought the pharmacy closed at 6PM, turns out it closes at 7PM. Disgusted, disappointed and just...blah, we decided to just go home. We dropped Conman off at my parents' house then went to stop for smokes at the smoke shop only to find that they had JUST been robbed...so we went to the local grocery store, rented a couple of movies, bought my smokes and went home.
Sunday was better - we went to Famous Dave's for bar-b-que, then to Michael's to buy two poster frames for Conman's bedroom, then to the book store where I bought Peter Straub's Ghost Story and Stephen King's The Regulators and picked up a nifty Terry Pratchett compillation, then we looked at several other stores for a game for DH, and we finally found something at Wal-Mart; I got one too *grin*. So yeah, Sunday made up for the crappy Saturday.
I guess that's all for now. Just sorta trying to get things done around here and trying to relax at the same time (yeah, nearly impossible, I know). Until next time...
First, finances are somewhat better. I'm not saving $100 a paycheck anymore now that vacation's over, but I'm thinking about after Christmas starting to save again. Our TV is about to go kaput (the sound keeps going in and out - getting REALLY LOUD and then really quiet over and over again without anyone touching the volume controls) and I'd really like to save enough to get a 40" LCD HD TV and a Blue-Ray dvd player (our dvd player is about 10 years old...the viable life for those things is 3 years). But anyway...I've got to get Christmas out of the way first. Gotta get gifts for Conman (which is the bulk of my purchases) and a couple of other people, too. Thank goodness I bought some gifts back in the summer and already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. Why? Well, we need a new Christmas tree this year, and all new outside decorations, too. Yay.
Conman went to his first Cub Scouts meeting on Tuesday and loved it. Now that football is over, he's able to go to meetings. I signed him up for basketball and paid the fee, but I dunno if he'll play or not. He's already told us a couple of times that he doesn't wanna play, which is fine by me (I can't stand basketball anyway); he has "tryouts" this evening at 6, so I suppose we'll see what happens then.
So, on Saturday I decided that I HAD to have a good meal, so the three of us took off to Charleston for a good dinner and to hopefully get a little shopping done. Well, it was a disaster from the word "go". I picked up DH and Conman and we took off, and decided to eat at a place called "Billy's". Thier tag line is "Just Good Food", and I wonder who came up with that tagline. It was just about the most horrible food I've ever had. I ordered turkey & dressing, and it was Stove-Top stuffing and a cooked-frozen-then-reheated turkey breast, so dry you could have used it as kindling. DH's meal was just as bad. Conman's dinner, fish sticks, was good, but man...you can't screw up fish sticks. After we paid our $40 for our came-from-a-box dinner, I realized that I needed to go to Logan to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, so we had to literally fly back to Logan from Charleston (with a quick stop at the house to pick up my wayward wallet) in order to get there before the pharmacy closed. We made it with time to spare - I thought the pharmacy closed at 6PM, turns out it closes at 7PM. Disgusted, disappointed and just...blah, we decided to just go home. We dropped Conman off at my parents' house then went to stop for smokes at the smoke shop only to find that they had JUST been robbed...so we went to the local grocery store, rented a couple of movies, bought my smokes and went home.
Sunday was better - we went to Famous Dave's for bar-b-que, then to Michael's to buy two poster frames for Conman's bedroom, then to the book store where I bought Peter Straub's Ghost Story and Stephen King's The Regulators and picked up a nifty Terry Pratchett compillation, then we looked at several other stores for a game for DH, and we finally found something at Wal-Mart; I got one too *grin*. So yeah, Sunday made up for the crappy Saturday.
I guess that's all for now. Just sorta trying to get things done around here and trying to relax at the same time (yeah, nearly impossible, I know). Until next time...
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Vacation Run-Down
Well, we're back from our anniversary vacation, and I've got the complete recap for ya. Here we go!
October 30
We sat the alarm for 3am. I popped out of bed and hopped in the shower while DH loaded our stuff into the car. By 20 minutes to 4, we were in the car and on the road. We had minimal stops and managed to make it to the beach by about 2:30 or so. We got checked in and up to our room and let me tell you, Sandy Beach hotel was just about the nicest place I have EVER stayed in. The balcony was nice and wide, the room was spacious and just very, very nice. Right after we checked in and got in the room, I made the requisite call to my parents to let them know that we'd made it in, and then called my friend who lives nearby (from here-on-in known as GF) and set up a time for her to come and visit while we were there. She got to our room at about 6:15 PM or so and stayed until about 10PM. By the time she left, I was exhausted so I went to bed.
October 31
Yay! 10th Anniversary day! We got up early and headed out to the Myrtle Beach State Park where DH and I stood on the shore and recommitted to one another. What better place to reaffirm your bond before God than on the seashore? I believe that we'll continue to be blessed as we have been blessed for the past ten years. Of course, after that, I was trying to rinse the sand out of a shell that DH found for me on the beach and I was attacked by a wave...
So, even though my pants were damp, my spirits weren't. We decided to hop back in the car and just drive around the area for a while. We started out looking for a putt-putt golf course to play, and went all the way north to Little River, turned around and went all the way to Pawley's Island in the south. We ended up eating at the Dead Dog Saloon in Murrell's Inlet (which we really, really liked - the Inlet, not the restaurant, but the restaurant was very good). When we left there it was time to go back to the hotel and get dressed for the evening's festivities.
We dressed in our Halloween costumes for our Halloween evening out. DH was dressed as Capt. Jack Sparrow and I was...well....I intended to be a gypsy girl, but everyone thought I was a pirate, too. That's okay, though, because I really wanted to be a pirate anyway. We went out to Barefoot Landing and first did the Ghost Show in the Ghosts and Legends Theater there. It was really neat, but DH and I enjoyed it a lot. It only primed us for what was to come, though, because the Ghost Walk was absolutely spectacular...
Our Storyteller, who is in between DH and I in the picture, was really fantastic. She told the stories in a way that held your attention and gave them a sense of wonder and mystery. At the half-way point of the walking tour at the House of Blues the REAL high-point of the walk happened for me. I went to the restroom, and when I caught up with the rest of the group I found out that DH had volunteered me to tell a ghost story. He didn't think I'd actually do it, and when I agreed, he was just shocked. All this is second hand, because I was so nervous talking to that group of strangers I didn't notice anything. DH said that while I told my story, a local legend from here in WV, that the crowd got quiet and moved in closer to hear me speak (even though I was trying hard to speak up so people could hear). DH said that the Storyteller was very impressed with my story and with my ability to tell it. When the walk was over, DH said that the Storyteller was bragging about my story to the other "pirates" at the Ghosts and Legends Theater. One of the ladies in the walking group with us asked me how she could find out more information about my story, as well. It was exciting for me. Also during the walk I took a picture of just...nothing...hoping to get pictures of something "paranormal" - an orb or something. I never dreamed that I'd actually get anything, but...
Yep! Not one, but FOUR orbs in one photo! Pretty exciting!
After we left Barefoot Landing, we headed over to Broadway at the Beach to check out their annual Halloween Party. Let me tell you, it was an experience. I don't have any pictures from there because I was silly and left my camera in the car, but I'm here to tell you, never have I seen so many (almost) exposed breasts in one place at one time. It was cold out that night, too, and even with all my clothes I had on (a girdle and a long-line bra, plus two layers of dress) and I was still shivering - I can't imagine being dressed in what is essentially a string bikini and being comfortable. I suppose that after you get so drunk, though, temperature doesn't really matter. There were some other really good costumes, too. I'm kicking myself about not bringing my camera now.
November 1
DH and I decided to go down to Charleston Harbor and take a tour of the USS Yorktown, a decommissioned aircraft carrier. It's located at Patriot's Point there in Charleston, and they also have a Coast Guard Cutter (the Ingham) a Destroyer (the Laffey) and a Submarine (the Clamagore). The Yorktown was just amazing; they had really nifty displays for all aspects of the ship's service, and they had airplanes in the hangar deck and on the flight deck that chronicled the ship's history from World War II until it was decommissioned in (I think) the '70's.
We also toured the Submarine and the Destroyer, then we went back "on shore" and bought some nifty stuff in the "Ship Store". We bought Conman a t-shirt and hat at the Yorktown because we thought that since he's got a million Myrtle Beach t-shirts that he might like something different this time. We really liked visiting the ships and my only regret was that Conman wasn't there to see it, too. He would have really, really liked that part of our trip.
We drove back to Myrtle Beach from Charleston but we weren't ready to go back to the hotel quite yet, so we visited Broadway at the Beach again for dinner. We ate at Key West, and the food was good but VERY expensive. We then finally played putt-putt there at Broadway and walked around a little bit before finally heading back to the hotel. On the way in, we couldn't pass up getting fresh, hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts. ;)
November 2
We woke up early, and DH took some pictures of dawn over the sea...
After we packed everything up and got it into the car, we checked out and prepared to leave the beach. Both DH and I were kind of reticent to actually leave...it felt a little bit like even though we had everything packed up and ready to go home that we were leaving something behind. I think it was that little piece of my heart that I was leaving. You know, that little piece that believes it belongs there on a permanent basis. I think we finally left town at around 9AM. We got back home here in WV at about 8PM (after a few stops along the way), and our vacation was officially over.
All in all, we had a fantastic time, and I wouldn't change a thing about what we did or saw.
October 30
We sat the alarm for 3am. I popped out of bed and hopped in the shower while DH loaded our stuff into the car. By 20 minutes to 4, we were in the car and on the road. We had minimal stops and managed to make it to the beach by about 2:30 or so. We got checked in and up to our room and let me tell you, Sandy Beach hotel was just about the nicest place I have EVER stayed in. The balcony was nice and wide, the room was spacious and just very, very nice. Right after we checked in and got in the room, I made the requisite call to my parents to let them know that we'd made it in, and then called my friend who lives nearby (from here-on-in known as GF) and set up a time for her to come and visit while we were there. She got to our room at about 6:15 PM or so and stayed until about 10PM. By the time she left, I was exhausted so I went to bed.
October 31
Yay! 10th Anniversary day! We got up early and headed out to the Myrtle Beach State Park where DH and I stood on the shore and recommitted to one another. What better place to reaffirm your bond before God than on the seashore? I believe that we'll continue to be blessed as we have been blessed for the past ten years. Of course, after that, I was trying to rinse the sand out of a shell that DH found for me on the beach and I was attacked by a wave...
So, even though my pants were damp, my spirits weren't. We decided to hop back in the car and just drive around the area for a while. We started out looking for a putt-putt golf course to play, and went all the way north to Little River, turned around and went all the way to Pawley's Island in the south. We ended up eating at the Dead Dog Saloon in Murrell's Inlet (which we really, really liked - the Inlet, not the restaurant, but the restaurant was very good). When we left there it was time to go back to the hotel and get dressed for the evening's festivities.We dressed in our Halloween costumes for our Halloween evening out. DH was dressed as Capt. Jack Sparrow and I was...well....I intended to be a gypsy girl, but everyone thought I was a pirate, too. That's okay, though, because I really wanted to be a pirate anyway. We went out to Barefoot Landing and first did the Ghost Show in the Ghosts and Legends Theater there. It was really neat, but DH and I enjoyed it a lot. It only primed us for what was to come, though, because the Ghost Walk was absolutely spectacular...
Our Storyteller, who is in between DH and I in the picture, was really fantastic. She told the stories in a way that held your attention and gave them a sense of wonder and mystery. At the half-way point of the walking tour at the House of Blues the REAL high-point of the walk happened for me. I went to the restroom, and when I caught up with the rest of the group I found out that DH had volunteered me to tell a ghost story. He didn't think I'd actually do it, and when I agreed, he was just shocked. All this is second hand, because I was so nervous talking to that group of strangers I didn't notice anything. DH said that while I told my story, a local legend from here in WV, that the crowd got quiet and moved in closer to hear me speak (even though I was trying hard to speak up so people could hear). DH said that the Storyteller was very impressed with my story and with my ability to tell it. When the walk was over, DH said that the Storyteller was bragging about my story to the other "pirates" at the Ghosts and Legends Theater. One of the ladies in the walking group with us asked me how she could find out more information about my story, as well. It was exciting for me. Also during the walk I took a picture of just...nothing...hoping to get pictures of something "paranormal" - an orb or something. I never dreamed that I'd actually get anything, but...
Yep! Not one, but FOUR orbs in one photo! Pretty exciting!After we left Barefoot Landing, we headed over to Broadway at the Beach to check out their annual Halloween Party. Let me tell you, it was an experience. I don't have any pictures from there because I was silly and left my camera in the car, but I'm here to tell you, never have I seen so many (almost) exposed breasts in one place at one time. It was cold out that night, too, and even with all my clothes I had on (a girdle and a long-line bra, plus two layers of dress) and I was still shivering - I can't imagine being dressed in what is essentially a string bikini and being comfortable. I suppose that after you get so drunk, though, temperature doesn't really matter. There were some other really good costumes, too. I'm kicking myself about not bringing my camera now.
November 1
DH and I decided to go down to Charleston Harbor and take a tour of the USS Yorktown, a decommissioned aircraft carrier. It's located at Patriot's Point there in Charleston, and they also have a Coast Guard Cutter (the Ingham) a Destroyer (the Laffey) and a Submarine (the Clamagore). The Yorktown was just amazing; they had really nifty displays for all aspects of the ship's service, and they had airplanes in the hangar deck and on the flight deck that chronicled the ship's history from World War II until it was decommissioned in (I think) the '70's.
We also toured the Submarine and the Destroyer, then we went back "on shore" and bought some nifty stuff in the "Ship Store". We bought Conman a t-shirt and hat at the Yorktown because we thought that since he's got a million Myrtle Beach t-shirts that he might like something different this time. We really liked visiting the ships and my only regret was that Conman wasn't there to see it, too. He would have really, really liked that part of our trip.We drove back to Myrtle Beach from Charleston but we weren't ready to go back to the hotel quite yet, so we visited Broadway at the Beach again for dinner. We ate at Key West, and the food was good but VERY expensive. We then finally played putt-putt there at Broadway and walked around a little bit before finally heading back to the hotel. On the way in, we couldn't pass up getting fresh, hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts. ;)
November 2
We woke up early, and DH took some pictures of dawn over the sea...
After we packed everything up and got it into the car, we checked out and prepared to leave the beach. Both DH and I were kind of reticent to actually leave...it felt a little bit like even though we had everything packed up and ready to go home that we were leaving something behind. I think it was that little piece of my heart that I was leaving. You know, that little piece that believes it belongs there on a permanent basis. I think we finally left town at around 9AM. We got back home here in WV at about 8PM (after a few stops along the way), and our vacation was officially over.All in all, we had a fantastic time, and I wouldn't change a thing about what we did or saw.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Reasons Why
For the past week, I've done pretty good. I've been up-beat, and felt like life was going okay. I've been happy with my friends and my (perceived) treatment by them. DH and I are doing well, and Conman's doing good, too.
Then, there are days like today. Days when I realize exactly why the doctor agreed with me when I asked for an anti-depressant, and prescribed me Prozac.
Today I'm sitting here in a cold house with no one for company but the boob tube. DH is at work and Conman's at school. My IM program is up and running, but it's silent. That huge list of "friends" who appear online haven't had anything to say to me in months. When I'm off-line, the phone doesn't ring. It sometimes feels like I only exist to myself; like no one knows I'm here but me.
I miss having friends. I miss doing stuff - not like "naughty" things, but just getting out and doing anything outside the home. I know what it is, though. I lack the confidence to do anything on my own. I feel like I need DH by my side in order to do stuff "right".
Now, I haven't taken my Prozac for a week. We go on vacation in just a few days, and I stopped taking the medicine because I wanted to enjoy that time on vacation. I wanted to be able to organize my thoughts enough to process what I'm doing, and I wanted to be able to get "turned on" so that I can celebrate my anniversary with DH. While I was taking the medicine, that just wasn't possible. Don't worry, y'all. I know I need it. I plan on starting back on it when I return home from vacation.
Today's just hard, though. I'm feeling terribly alone. I hope tomorrow's better.
Then, there are days like today. Days when I realize exactly why the doctor agreed with me when I asked for an anti-depressant, and prescribed me Prozac.
Today I'm sitting here in a cold house with no one for company but the boob tube. DH is at work and Conman's at school. My IM program is up and running, but it's silent. That huge list of "friends" who appear online haven't had anything to say to me in months. When I'm off-line, the phone doesn't ring. It sometimes feels like I only exist to myself; like no one knows I'm here but me.
I miss having friends. I miss doing stuff - not like "naughty" things, but just getting out and doing anything outside the home. I know what it is, though. I lack the confidence to do anything on my own. I feel like I need DH by my side in order to do stuff "right".
Now, I haven't taken my Prozac for a week. We go on vacation in just a few days, and I stopped taking the medicine because I wanted to enjoy that time on vacation. I wanted to be able to organize my thoughts enough to process what I'm doing, and I wanted to be able to get "turned on" so that I can celebrate my anniversary with DH. While I was taking the medicine, that just wasn't possible. Don't worry, y'all. I know I need it. I plan on starting back on it when I return home from vacation.
Today's just hard, though. I'm feeling terribly alone. I hope tomorrow's better.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Update Post
So, here we are, almost a month after my last post. I know, I know, I've been lacking in the blog category. I have either been too busy to make any entries, or haven't really had anything to say.
First off, Conman's midget league football team is undefeated for the regular season. They are playoff - bound, and have earned home-field advantage during the playoffs. They're a good bunch of boys, and the team's REALLY developed over the season. I have confidence in them that they'll do well during the playoffs.
The midget league homecoming game was a roaring success. I had to paint 30 mini football plaques with 26 player names and numbers and 4 coaches. Add to that the huge poster I had to make to put the little footballs on, plus Conman's personal poster, and we had to paint a pumpkin, too, for the display. We did it all in about four days. It was a marathon, but we got it done and I was pleased with the results.
Vacation's coming up at the end of the month. DH and I are heading to the beach (yes, the same beach we want to move to...read on...) for about 4 days. We have some pretty special plans for the trip. It's our 10-year anniversary AND our birthday trip, so we've got lots on the table for the trip. I'm exceptionally excited about it, and can't wait to get down there again. Excited, excited, excited.
So, the move has almost ground to a halt. We can't get the down payment together, and the way the economy is right now we won't be able to get a loan without a down payment. Renting is just about out of the question because the cost of per-month rent is just about double what a house payment would be. No thank you, I'd rather have something to show for it if I'm going to pay THAT much a month...
Anyway, that's about where we're at right now. Not much to tell, just a little update on what's going on 'round these parts.
First off, Conman's midget league football team is undefeated for the regular season. They are playoff - bound, and have earned home-field advantage during the playoffs. They're a good bunch of boys, and the team's REALLY developed over the season. I have confidence in them that they'll do well during the playoffs.
The midget league homecoming game was a roaring success. I had to paint 30 mini football plaques with 26 player names and numbers and 4 coaches. Add to that the huge poster I had to make to put the little footballs on, plus Conman's personal poster, and we had to paint a pumpkin, too, for the display. We did it all in about four days. It was a marathon, but we got it done and I was pleased with the results.
Vacation's coming up at the end of the month. DH and I are heading to the beach (yes, the same beach we want to move to...read on...) for about 4 days. We have some pretty special plans for the trip. It's our 10-year anniversary AND our birthday trip, so we've got lots on the table for the trip. I'm exceptionally excited about it, and can't wait to get down there again. Excited, excited, excited.
So, the move has almost ground to a halt. We can't get the down payment together, and the way the economy is right now we won't be able to get a loan without a down payment. Renting is just about out of the question because the cost of per-month rent is just about double what a house payment would be. No thank you, I'd rather have something to show for it if I'm going to pay THAT much a month...
Anyway, that's about where we're at right now. Not much to tell, just a little update on what's going on 'round these parts.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Crushed
As we all know (It's clear from my previous blog posts) we want to move.
Now, there's a couple of hurdles. We have to have jobs, we have to have a place to live, and we need some supplementary child care for Conman, not to mention some extra cash to be able to do all these things. We have a plan - a good plan - to, in the end, be successful. The problem is, we don't have the "ready cash" or savings to be able to do these things.
I do, however, have a trust fund. The problem? I'm not allowed to touch it until I'm 55 (and I'm only 32 as of the date of this posting). I have also been informed this morning that (1) I shouldn't be calling the really good job lead I have because "we're not ready to move" (according to my dad) and (2) we won't be getting any monetary help from my parents for the same reason.
My question is this - how do you know we're not ready? We have come to the realization that we'll never be more than what we are as long as we stay here. DH has been asking for a raise for about six months now with no hint that he's going to get one. He's worked at his job for, collectively, about 7 years (worked five years, laid off for one, worked two more years). He retained his seniority when he came back from the layoff, but that hasn't made any difference in his pay rate. I work part time and bring home about $320 every two weeks. As we are right now, we're barely making it, there's no hope for any advancement for either of us. There's no way we'll be any better than what we are, and we can't make enough money to have any sorts of savings. Basically, we're on our own for savings or trying to keep money aside so that we can move, but because we make so little, we can't save any money for a down payment or anything like that.
Yet again, my parents feel like they must control us, even to the long-term detriment of their own grandchild. Because we will be out of their sphere of influence, they won't help. Because they won't be able to raise Conman (because it's been made painfully obvious that I don't do a good enough job) they won't help. Because there's a chance (a very GOOD chance) that we'll be successful on our own, that we'll be able to save and plan for our own future for once, they won't help. They'd rather see us live in squalor and utter need than to admit for once that they might not have all the answers and that they might be wrong. I can't understand why parents would want that for their child, much less their grandchild. It doesn't make sense to me - why would a parent not want their child to succeed? If you have the answer, I'd like to hear it, because at this moment, I'm completely at a loss.
Oh, and this morning when I went up because I needed $20 (see? we can't even make it between paydays) I saw a brochure for a new Honda Pilot on their countertop. Dad said that they took the car in for a service and the salesman approached him and "forced" the brochure on them, but I find that hard to believe. I take my car to a dealership for service all the time, and a simple, "Oh, I'm just here for service." sends the salesmen running back to the office to wait on the next actual prospect. So, therefore, they can spend money on a new car, but they can't invest in the future of their child or grandchild. And before you ask, no, they don't need a new car. They have a 2007 Toyota truck, a 2000 Honda Accord, and a 2004 Ford SUV, all with very low miles and in brand-new condition. The sole reason for buying a car for them is they're tired of the old one.
If I sound angry, it's because I am. I don't think the two of them have experienced "need" in thirty years or more. They are either unwilling or unable to understand why someone would want to move away and get better.
And to be honest with you, I can't take living under their thumb anymore. I wrote that letter three months ago (search my blog, you'll find the post about the letter to my mother) and she was better...for about a month. Now, not only has she gone back to her "old ways", but she's worse. I can't stand this any more - I can't be made to feel like I'm not a real person any more, and I can't live like that anymore. I hate it, and I want to get away and live my life for me and my child and my husband. I want to be able to actually live and not just exist as a disappointment to someone else.
I guess that's it. On all fronts. I got nothing else to say, and I got nowhere else to turn.
Now, there's a couple of hurdles. We have to have jobs, we have to have a place to live, and we need some supplementary child care for Conman, not to mention some extra cash to be able to do all these things. We have a plan - a good plan - to, in the end, be successful. The problem is, we don't have the "ready cash" or savings to be able to do these things.
I do, however, have a trust fund. The problem? I'm not allowed to touch it until I'm 55 (and I'm only 32 as of the date of this posting). I have also been informed this morning that (1) I shouldn't be calling the really good job lead I have because "we're not ready to move" (according to my dad) and (2) we won't be getting any monetary help from my parents for the same reason.
My question is this - how do you know we're not ready? We have come to the realization that we'll never be more than what we are as long as we stay here. DH has been asking for a raise for about six months now with no hint that he's going to get one. He's worked at his job for, collectively, about 7 years (worked five years, laid off for one, worked two more years). He retained his seniority when he came back from the layoff, but that hasn't made any difference in his pay rate. I work part time and bring home about $320 every two weeks. As we are right now, we're barely making it, there's no hope for any advancement for either of us. There's no way we'll be any better than what we are, and we can't make enough money to have any sorts of savings. Basically, we're on our own for savings or trying to keep money aside so that we can move, but because we make so little, we can't save any money for a down payment or anything like that.
Yet again, my parents feel like they must control us, even to the long-term detriment of their own grandchild. Because we will be out of their sphere of influence, they won't help. Because they won't be able to raise Conman (because it's been made painfully obvious that I don't do a good enough job) they won't help. Because there's a chance (a very GOOD chance) that we'll be successful on our own, that we'll be able to save and plan for our own future for once, they won't help. They'd rather see us live in squalor and utter need than to admit for once that they might not have all the answers and that they might be wrong. I can't understand why parents would want that for their child, much less their grandchild. It doesn't make sense to me - why would a parent not want their child to succeed? If you have the answer, I'd like to hear it, because at this moment, I'm completely at a loss.
Oh, and this morning when I went up because I needed $20 (see? we can't even make it between paydays) I saw a brochure for a new Honda Pilot on their countertop. Dad said that they took the car in for a service and the salesman approached him and "forced" the brochure on them, but I find that hard to believe. I take my car to a dealership for service all the time, and a simple, "Oh, I'm just here for service." sends the salesmen running back to the office to wait on the next actual prospect. So, therefore, they can spend money on a new car, but they can't invest in the future of their child or grandchild. And before you ask, no, they don't need a new car. They have a 2007 Toyota truck, a 2000 Honda Accord, and a 2004 Ford SUV, all with very low miles and in brand-new condition. The sole reason for buying a car for them is they're tired of the old one.
If I sound angry, it's because I am. I don't think the two of them have experienced "need" in thirty years or more. They are either unwilling or unable to understand why someone would want to move away and get better.
And to be honest with you, I can't take living under their thumb anymore. I wrote that letter three months ago (search my blog, you'll find the post about the letter to my mother) and she was better...for about a month. Now, not only has she gone back to her "old ways", but she's worse. I can't stand this any more - I can't be made to feel like I'm not a real person any more, and I can't live like that anymore. I hate it, and I want to get away and live my life for me and my child and my husband. I want to be able to actually live and not just exist as a disappointment to someone else.
I guess that's it. On all fronts. I got nothing else to say, and I got nowhere else to turn.
Friday, September 19, 2008
International Talk Like a Pirate Day, 2008
In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I give you a post I made back in June celebrating just such a thing.
So...fill your days with "Arrghs" and "Aye Mateys", and have a fantastic TLAPD!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
An Update
So, on Sunday and Monday DH and I went Down South and checked out some houses and tried to look for jobs. On Sunday we toured the houses with a real estate agent and some were really nice for the price, and a couple were...well...not so nice. We've finally decided on one that's in the $115K - $119K range. I think we can qualify for a $128K FHA loan, and that will be more than enough to get the house we really like.
As far as the jobs are concerned, well...It's the curse of Monday. All the places I wanted to visit to talk about jobs were closed on Monday. We only stayed until about 1PM, so we didn't have time to do much, anyway, but it was frustrating to know that half of what I wanted to get done Down South couldn't get done because everything was closed.
I spoke with dad today about getting help to move down there, and it wasn't promising. I just want to go, and we need a little help (down payment help, money for DH's class he needs to take) and he's not budging. It's bothering me for several reasons, but reasons I'd rather not go into. It doesn't matter to me, though - either way - with their help or without it - we're going. You don't like it? Sorry, Charlie. It's our life to master, not yours, and we think our direction is the best for us. Aside from that, we're all set. We just need to get a time-line together and get down there.
That's about it - that's what almost all my thoughts are centered on these days, so like I've said before, that's what all my posts (for a while, anyway) are likely to be about.
As far as the jobs are concerned, well...It's the curse of Monday. All the places I wanted to visit to talk about jobs were closed on Monday. We only stayed until about 1PM, so we didn't have time to do much, anyway, but it was frustrating to know that half of what I wanted to get done Down South couldn't get done because everything was closed.
I spoke with dad today about getting help to move down there, and it wasn't promising. I just want to go, and we need a little help (down payment help, money for DH's class he needs to take) and he's not budging. It's bothering me for several reasons, but reasons I'd rather not go into. It doesn't matter to me, though - either way - with their help or without it - we're going. You don't like it? Sorry, Charlie. It's our life to master, not yours, and we think our direction is the best for us. Aside from that, we're all set. We just need to get a time-line together and get down there.
That's about it - that's what almost all my thoughts are centered on these days, so like I've said before, that's what all my posts (for a while, anyway) are likely to be about.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Untitled Post
Not a whole lot to post today, just a few tid-bits of the past week.
First off, the Browns remain undefeated. The C-Team beat Gilbert 22-6 today. It was a pretty good game for 5-7 (or are they 8?) year olds, and Conman got to play during the fourth quarter on Offense. He had two REALLY good blocks while on the line, so momma's proud.
DH got a rejection letter from the big job he was looking at Down South. Not a big problem, though - where there's a will, there's a way, and now he's looking at taking a 5 - 10 day course to become a licensed home inspector with aims of eventually starting our own business inspecting and possibly cost-assessing homes Down South. It's always been a dream of ours to own our own business, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
I still haven't heard ANYTHING from any of the jobs I applied for Down South. I think I really have to be down there to get a job, and I may have to work for a couple of years on "some other job" before I'm able to quit and work with DH in "our business" full-time. That's okay, though - as long as we're making our way in the world, doing good and keeping Conman eating regularly and in new clothes, I call that a success. As long as I can keep a roof over our heads and the electricity on, we're successful.
The plan now is go Down South next weekend, scope some houses on Sunday and go and see some of the temp services on Monday morning and then break the sound barrier getting back here for the start of our work weeks on Tuesday. Wish us luck, we'll need it. This is the first actual step on the journey we've decided to take.
First off, the Browns remain undefeated. The C-Team beat Gilbert 22-6 today. It was a pretty good game for 5-7 (or are they 8?) year olds, and Conman got to play during the fourth quarter on Offense. He had two REALLY good blocks while on the line, so momma's proud.
DH got a rejection letter from the big job he was looking at Down South. Not a big problem, though - where there's a will, there's a way, and now he's looking at taking a 5 - 10 day course to become a licensed home inspector with aims of eventually starting our own business inspecting and possibly cost-assessing homes Down South. It's always been a dream of ours to own our own business, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
I still haven't heard ANYTHING from any of the jobs I applied for Down South. I think I really have to be down there to get a job, and I may have to work for a couple of years on "some other job" before I'm able to quit and work with DH in "our business" full-time. That's okay, though - as long as we're making our way in the world, doing good and keeping Conman eating regularly and in new clothes, I call that a success. As long as I can keep a roof over our heads and the electricity on, we're successful.
The plan now is go Down South next weekend, scope some houses on Sunday and go and see some of the temp services on Monday morning and then break the sound barrier getting back here for the start of our work weeks on Tuesday. Wish us luck, we'll need it. This is the first actual step on the journey we've decided to take.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Weird Dreams
So, I've been thinking about writing about this all week, and I've just now decided to do it.
Sunday night I had a nightmare. I hope that in writing about it, I can finally forget about it. It's haunted me since then. In this nightmare, I had a daughter who was 8 or 10 years old. We were at the t-ball field watching Conman practice football, and she was being...unruly. She came up to me and was arguing with me, and I was sitting on the metal bleachers they have there. She slapped me in the face, and I grabbed her arm and slung her around to make her sit down in front of me, and she tripped over my foot. Her head got wedged between the bottom step of the bleachers and her body fell at an odd angle and I heard her neck snap. I started screaming "no", and I must have been yelling out in my sleep, too, because DH woke me up and told me that I was having a nightmare.
Tuesday night I dreamed about this little amphibious vehicle that the store took in on trade the other day. In my dream, he broadsided us in a great big new black SUV that we owned. We chased him down and made his mother pay for the damage. It was just weird.
Anyway, that's all I got.
Sunday night I had a nightmare. I hope that in writing about it, I can finally forget about it. It's haunted me since then. In this nightmare, I had a daughter who was 8 or 10 years old. We were at the t-ball field watching Conman practice football, and she was being...unruly. She came up to me and was arguing with me, and I was sitting on the metal bleachers they have there. She slapped me in the face, and I grabbed her arm and slung her around to make her sit down in front of me, and she tripped over my foot. Her head got wedged between the bottom step of the bleachers and her body fell at an odd angle and I heard her neck snap. I started screaming "no", and I must have been yelling out in my sleep, too, because DH woke me up and told me that I was having a nightmare.
Tuesday night I dreamed about this little amphibious vehicle that the store took in on trade the other day. In my dream, he broadsided us in a great big new black SUV that we owned. We chased him down and made his mother pay for the damage. It was just weird.
Anyway, that's all I got.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Gypsies and Pirates
Her eyes they know too much
She'll treat ya like somebody but you just cant touch
His smile aint seen the light of day
Exchanged it for some treasures somewhere along the way
Maybe the stars will align so they can sail on together
Maybe he'll steal her life
and she'll take his heart
and his favorite sweater
Shes a gypsy
Hes a pirate on the run
Pirate On The Run,
Pat Monahan
So I've been thinking a lot lately about myself. I want to know what it is that makes me want to go all the time. I'm never happy in one place for long - like the lyrics above say, "She's a gypsy..."
I've also been thinking a lot about the fairness of life. It seems like it doesn't matter how smart you are, how driven you are, how willing you are to work hard for what you have, some people are just not destined to get ahead. I've been an office worker for my entire life - I'm good at what I do, I work hard, and I'm diligent. I figure I'm worth at least $10 an hour (in this area's economy) or maybe more. DH is good at what he does - he works, hard, doesn't care to get dirty, and when he does something, it's done right - and you can count on that. He's worth probably about double an hour what I am.
Now, with all that - $30 or so an hour collectively - you'd think we'd do pretty good. You'd be mistaken. DH doesn't make NEAR what he's worth, and I make $6.75 an hour (part-time). We barely get by, barely have enough to buy food to eat and keep (fairly new) clothes. Now, let's pair that with some of the other workers around here. We're talking about unskilled, unschooled laborers. You know the kind - the ones that have six-bedroom, $500,000 homes, six or seven luxury vehicles, kids and spouses in the newest fashions and with the biggest diamonds and the flashiest...other stuff...money can buy. Tell me, now, how someone smarter, more skilled, and more willing to work gets the proverbial pile of shit while someone like that is the one holding the shovel? It's not fair, I tell ya.
Okay, I'm done complaining. Have a pleasant day.
She'll treat ya like somebody but you just cant touch
His smile aint seen the light of day
Exchanged it for some treasures somewhere along the way
Maybe the stars will align so they can sail on together
Maybe he'll steal her life
and she'll take his heart
and his favorite sweater
Shes a gypsy
Hes a pirate on the run
Pirate On The Run,
Pat Monahan
So I've been thinking a lot lately about myself. I want to know what it is that makes me want to go all the time. I'm never happy in one place for long - like the lyrics above say, "She's a gypsy..."
I've also been thinking a lot about the fairness of life. It seems like it doesn't matter how smart you are, how driven you are, how willing you are to work hard for what you have, some people are just not destined to get ahead. I've been an office worker for my entire life - I'm good at what I do, I work hard, and I'm diligent. I figure I'm worth at least $10 an hour (in this area's economy) or maybe more. DH is good at what he does - he works, hard, doesn't care to get dirty, and when he does something, it's done right - and you can count on that. He's worth probably about double an hour what I am.
Now, with all that - $30 or so an hour collectively - you'd think we'd do pretty good. You'd be mistaken. DH doesn't make NEAR what he's worth, and I make $6.75 an hour (part-time). We barely get by, barely have enough to buy food to eat and keep (fairly new) clothes. Now, let's pair that with some of the other workers around here. We're talking about unskilled, unschooled laborers. You know the kind - the ones that have six-bedroom, $500,000 homes, six or seven luxury vehicles, kids and spouses in the newest fashions and with the biggest diamonds and the flashiest...other stuff...money can buy. Tell me, now, how someone smarter, more skilled, and more willing to work gets the proverbial pile of shit while someone like that is the one holding the shovel? It's not fair, I tell ya.
Okay, I'm done complaining. Have a pleasant day.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Frustrations, Worries and Disappointments
Frustrations
Well, first off, I'm frustrated with the relocation thing. I know, I'm impatient, but it's been 2 weeks and I have applied for many, many jobs, and I haven't heard a peep back from anyone. I've been applying on-line, so you would think I would at least get a "hey, yeah, we got your application, thank you!" or "you know, I really don't think we could hire you, since you currently live 10 hours away. Let us know when you move in locally. Thanks."
Nope. Nothing. Not a peep. Kinda frustrating, and a little disheartening. I've got to do this on my "off-time" when I'm not working, and I don't have the time (not to mention the money) to just hop in the car and run Down South and apply for a job at the drop of a hat. I wish I did, but I don't. It almost seems like you've got to live there before you can work there, and well...we don't live there.
Worries
Will we ever live there? I dunno. Is it the right thing for us to do? I dunno. DH seems to think it's the right thing - he wants to get me away from my mother to save my sanity (and believe me, I need it). He thinks it's a good thing for the boy, too, because we want to raise him to love and respect them, but not to be like them. The lives of my parents are so filled with negativity, I don't want him to think that's what life is all about. If we get away from here, we can raise him the way we want to.
The question now becomes, will we ever actually go? DH thinks we will on that one, too. I've been looking at different kinds of loans and see if it's possible to get the loan, go down, buy a house and have a little left over to live on for a couple of months while we find work. I don't know if that's possible - it looks like our interest rate is going to be about 7% (perhaps even 8%), and property taxes are a bit higher Down South than they are here. It's a lot to think about - DH says that the higher interest rate is the cost of moving down there and getting out. I'm just about willing to pay that price.
The last thing that I've been worrying about is the house we live in now. What's going to happen to it? I don't want to leave dad holding the bag on this property. Granted, we haven't paid anything on this house in almost 3 years, and it doesn't appear on our credit report (therefore our name must not be on the mortgage anywhere). I don't know how this is going to work when we go to apply for a loan. I don't know if it will affect what kind of money we'll get, or if a loan and home purchase would be contingent on the sale of this house, or what. We did it once before - up and moved out of a house we had bought, leaving it to mom and dad to take care of it - and I would feel really guilty about essentially doing it again. It's pretty much definite that we would need SOMEONE's help to do this, but after the history, the hard feelings and their insecurities with us, how do you ask someone something like that? I just don't know if I can even ask for advice, much less help with a down payment or something like that.
Disappointments
These are not so much mine, but other people's. I'm sure it's disappointing that I'm not writing something juicy, just this mundane stuff about a move that might not happen. This is where my focus is right now, and it's all that I'm thinking about, so it's what I'm writing about.
So, those of you who read this blog who are of the prayin' type, start your prayer engines. This is something we really want to do, something we think we ought to do, and something we're prepared to work hard for. I appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts.
Well, first off, I'm frustrated with the relocation thing. I know, I'm impatient, but it's been 2 weeks and I have applied for many, many jobs, and I haven't heard a peep back from anyone. I've been applying on-line, so you would think I would at least get a "hey, yeah, we got your application, thank you!" or "you know, I really don't think we could hire you, since you currently live 10 hours away. Let us know when you move in locally. Thanks."
Nope. Nothing. Not a peep. Kinda frustrating, and a little disheartening. I've got to do this on my "off-time" when I'm not working, and I don't have the time (not to mention the money) to just hop in the car and run Down South and apply for a job at the drop of a hat. I wish I did, but I don't. It almost seems like you've got to live there before you can work there, and well...we don't live there.
Worries
Will we ever live there? I dunno. Is it the right thing for us to do? I dunno. DH seems to think it's the right thing - he wants to get me away from my mother to save my sanity (and believe me, I need it). He thinks it's a good thing for the boy, too, because we want to raise him to love and respect them, but not to be like them. The lives of my parents are so filled with negativity, I don't want him to think that's what life is all about. If we get away from here, we can raise him the way we want to.
The question now becomes, will we ever actually go? DH thinks we will on that one, too. I've been looking at different kinds of loans and see if it's possible to get the loan, go down, buy a house and have a little left over to live on for a couple of months while we find work. I don't know if that's possible - it looks like our interest rate is going to be about 7% (perhaps even 8%), and property taxes are a bit higher Down South than they are here. It's a lot to think about - DH says that the higher interest rate is the cost of moving down there and getting out. I'm just about willing to pay that price.
The last thing that I've been worrying about is the house we live in now. What's going to happen to it? I don't want to leave dad holding the bag on this property. Granted, we haven't paid anything on this house in almost 3 years, and it doesn't appear on our credit report (therefore our name must not be on the mortgage anywhere). I don't know how this is going to work when we go to apply for a loan. I don't know if it will affect what kind of money we'll get, or if a loan and home purchase would be contingent on the sale of this house, or what. We did it once before - up and moved out of a house we had bought, leaving it to mom and dad to take care of it - and I would feel really guilty about essentially doing it again. It's pretty much definite that we would need SOMEONE's help to do this, but after the history, the hard feelings and their insecurities with us, how do you ask someone something like that? I just don't know if I can even ask for advice, much less help with a down payment or something like that.
Disappointments
These are not so much mine, but other people's. I'm sure it's disappointing that I'm not writing something juicy, just this mundane stuff about a move that might not happen. This is where my focus is right now, and it's all that I'm thinking about, so it's what I'm writing about.
So, those of you who read this blog who are of the prayin' type, start your prayer engines. This is something we really want to do, something we think we ought to do, and something we're prepared to work hard for. I appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
(Re)Location, (Re)Location, (Re)Location
Today we began in earnest. We made the decision about a week ago. But today was the day.
Yep, we want to be outta Dodge in about 6 months. I applied for three jobs Down South in the past week, and DH applied for one BIG job Down South today. I also got in contact with a real estate agent Down South today, too. DH plans on applying for more jobs, and I will be getting in touch with the Down South JobBank tomorrow via telephone to find out how we apply for jobs and work with them on relocating from afar.
This is the culmination of a dream that's about 15 years old. I'm not good with the sun, my skin's too sensitive for salt water and sand, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I NEED to be near the sea. DH really wants this, too, and we will be working diligently to make it happen.
For once, I want to do something on my own that I want to do - I don't want to make the move at someone else's urging (like we did when we moved to North Carolina 10 years ago) - that only ended up with us coming back home 2 years later. It wasn't the right time, and we were never truly "at home" when we were down there. Now, with this move Down South, it's all us - WE have decided that this is what is right, WE have decided it's time, and actually, it's at the behest of everyone else that has any influence on our lives. Our friends will be sad to see us go - one has already told me as much - but at least she agrees that the time is right, and that this is the right thing to do. Heck, my BFF, when I told her I was going, said, "Hey, I might go with ya!"
If that's not a vote of confidence, I don't know what is.
So....therefore, wish us luck. We'd like to get everything done and get moved within 3 - 6 or 8 months. That includes new jobs, a new home, Conman enrolled in a new school, daycare secured, all the stuff that goes around with just daily life. It's a big proposition, especially with a young child, but I'm more ready for this than for anything I've ever been in my life.
Yep, we want to be outta Dodge in about 6 months. I applied for three jobs Down South in the past week, and DH applied for one BIG job Down South today. I also got in contact with a real estate agent Down South today, too. DH plans on applying for more jobs, and I will be getting in touch with the Down South JobBank tomorrow via telephone to find out how we apply for jobs and work with them on relocating from afar.
This is the culmination of a dream that's about 15 years old. I'm not good with the sun, my skin's too sensitive for salt water and sand, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I NEED to be near the sea. DH really wants this, too, and we will be working diligently to make it happen.
For once, I want to do something on my own that I want to do - I don't want to make the move at someone else's urging (like we did when we moved to North Carolina 10 years ago) - that only ended up with us coming back home 2 years later. It wasn't the right time, and we were never truly "at home" when we were down there. Now, with this move Down South, it's all us - WE have decided that this is what is right, WE have decided it's time, and actually, it's at the behest of everyone else that has any influence on our lives. Our friends will be sad to see us go - one has already told me as much - but at least she agrees that the time is right, and that this is the right thing to do. Heck, my BFF, when I told her I was going, said, "Hey, I might go with ya!"
If that's not a vote of confidence, I don't know what is.
So....therefore, wish us luck. We'd like to get everything done and get moved within 3 - 6 or 8 months. That includes new jobs, a new home, Conman enrolled in a new school, daycare secured, all the stuff that goes around with just daily life. It's a big proposition, especially with a young child, but I'm more ready for this than for anything I've ever been in my life.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Just Play
It's been 16 days now, and I just finished watching the Olympic Closing Ceremonies. There's a reason why I waited until after it was all over to post on the topic of the Olympics. But we'll get to that in just a minute.
First, I need to explain a little bit. One of the reasons I started this blog is because DH always says, "You look at the world a little bit different from the rest of people. There's a perspective you have that I don't think the majority of the world shares". Now, I told you that for a reason, too; it does relate to the Olympics. I was thinking while I was watching the Ceremony, and some of the clips they were showing as the program ended.
When it comes down to it, the old cliche of "Just do it" kinda applies. These men and women (and sometimes boys and girls) practice their entire lives. They work, they train, they get their routines and times and positions and bodies into as perfect shape as they can. When it comes down to it, though, and that starting pistol fires, all that doesn't really matter. They just swim. Or just run. Or just jump. Or just do about a hundred other activities that can either bring complete joy or utter disappointment. All that training, all that practice, it all comes down to just a few moments of competition and performance that will last a lifetime.
Just think - fifty years from now, Michael Phelps may have a grandchild sitting on his knee with one of his gold medals in his hands, paying rapt attention to his grandad as he explains the exhilaration of touching the wall and winning his 8th gold medal for the 2008 Olympics. The rest of the world may have moved on, may have forgotten about his achievements, but they'll live on in Phelp's heart and through his family.
I think the stories of strength - the stories of those that didn't win, maybe didn't even place, but competed anyway and didn't give up - are the stories that I will hold in my heart. The South African woman who lost her leg in a car accident but still competed in the open-water swimming competition. The Russian mother who won the marathon. The unbelievable Chinese athletes who did their country proud in the competitions, and the army of Chinese volunteers who made Beijing a welcoming, comfortable place for the world to call "home" for 16 days.
Thanks, Olympics. You show us that everyone has a chance for glory, and that the world can come together in peace. The world could learn a lot from the sportsmanship and good will displayed by its athletes.
First, I need to explain a little bit. One of the reasons I started this blog is because DH always says, "You look at the world a little bit different from the rest of people. There's a perspective you have that I don't think the majority of the world shares". Now, I told you that for a reason, too; it does relate to the Olympics. I was thinking while I was watching the Ceremony, and some of the clips they were showing as the program ended.
When it comes down to it, the old cliche of "Just do it" kinda applies. These men and women (and sometimes boys and girls) practice their entire lives. They work, they train, they get their routines and times and positions and bodies into as perfect shape as they can. When it comes down to it, though, and that starting pistol fires, all that doesn't really matter. They just swim. Or just run. Or just jump. Or just do about a hundred other activities that can either bring complete joy or utter disappointment. All that training, all that practice, it all comes down to just a few moments of competition and performance that will last a lifetime.
Just think - fifty years from now, Michael Phelps may have a grandchild sitting on his knee with one of his gold medals in his hands, paying rapt attention to his grandad as he explains the exhilaration of touching the wall and winning his 8th gold medal for the 2008 Olympics. The rest of the world may have moved on, may have forgotten about his achievements, but they'll live on in Phelp's heart and through his family.
I think the stories of strength - the stories of those that didn't win, maybe didn't even place, but competed anyway and didn't give up - are the stories that I will hold in my heart. The South African woman who lost her leg in a car accident but still competed in the open-water swimming competition. The Russian mother who won the marathon. The unbelievable Chinese athletes who did their country proud in the competitions, and the army of Chinese volunteers who made Beijing a welcoming, comfortable place for the world to call "home" for 16 days.
Thanks, Olympics. You show us that everyone has a chance for glory, and that the world can come together in peace. The world could learn a lot from the sportsmanship and good will displayed by its athletes.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Stuff
So, we bought a car today. $1500 and a 2000 Kia Sephia is ours. The car runs good, is legal (of utmost importance - that much sought-after sticker) and will serve it's purpose well, acting as DH's work car. It's been well-taken-care-of, too, so it ought to last a good long time. I'm glad that the pressure to get the Honda fixed and actually road-worthy is off, and with a relatively low loan amount (loaned from my dad) we ought to be able to pay it off relatively quickly and not have to worry about it. Yeah, it needs a little work - there's some rust on the rocker panels, the rear-view mirror is gone, and the horn doesn't work - but still, we're not trying to win a car show or anything. DH just needs reliable transportation to get back and forth to work.
We have become totally obsessed with the Olympics. We've watched swimming every night this week with smatterings of fencing, gymnastics and other sundry sports. It's been exciting, and we've even managed to get Conman interested in some of what's going on. So far he likes the swimming and fencing. I think he'd like the diving, too, if they'd ever freakin' show any of it. Maybe we're just missing it...maybe it hasn't happened yet...I dunno.
Lastly, this blog is my place where I'm free to speak my thoughts. I thoroughly expect no repercussions from anything I say here, and I would not dose out any for something said on anyone else's. I speak my mind, as this is my space. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. That's all I'm going to say. If you do have questions, I'm open to answering them, otherwise, that's all I have to say about that.
DH shaved his head - we're talking Bic razor blades and shaving cream here - last night. Surprisingly, I like it...a lot. It suits him. I didn't think it would, but it does. He kept the beard and moustache, but the hair is gone. *grin* So, imagine if you can, a mixture of Capt. Jack Sparrow and Mr. Clean, and you've pretty much got my DH pegged (minus the great big hoop earring, of course).
That's about it for today. Work tomorrow and Saturday, football on Sunday, and running around to register the new car on Monday, then work on Tuesday. Don't expect word from me again until Wednesday-next week. Until then, stay safe!
We have become totally obsessed with the Olympics. We've watched swimming every night this week with smatterings of fencing, gymnastics and other sundry sports. It's been exciting, and we've even managed to get Conman interested in some of what's going on. So far he likes the swimming and fencing. I think he'd like the diving, too, if they'd ever freakin' show any of it. Maybe we're just missing it...maybe it hasn't happened yet...I dunno.
Lastly, this blog is my place where I'm free to speak my thoughts. I thoroughly expect no repercussions from anything I say here, and I would not dose out any for something said on anyone else's. I speak my mind, as this is my space. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. That's all I'm going to say. If you do have questions, I'm open to answering them, otherwise, that's all I have to say about that.
DH shaved his head - we're talking Bic razor blades and shaving cream here - last night. Surprisingly, I like it...a lot. It suits him. I didn't think it would, but it does. He kept the beard and moustache, but the hair is gone. *grin* So, imagine if you can, a mixture of Capt. Jack Sparrow and Mr. Clean, and you've pretty much got my DH pegged (minus the great big hoop earring, of course).
That's about it for today. Work tomorrow and Saturday, football on Sunday, and running around to register the new car on Monday, then work on Tuesday. Don't expect word from me again until Wednesday-next week. Until then, stay safe!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Decisions
Well, I don't really have a decision to make - I've already made it - I just have to figure out how to state it to everyone else. Why is that such a problem? Well, it's complicated.
There's one big, huge reason, and that's the obvious one to everyone, and I don't want it to seem like the reason I made my decision was purely reactionary to that particular event - it's not. I have several other reasons why, and I can't openly nor honestly talk about them. So the question then becomes, how do you cover up the truth and make it seem like the obvious isn't the reasons behind your decision? That's what's so hard for me.
The next thing is dealing with the end of a friendship. It's not so bad when someone you know, someone you casually interact with, sort of drifts away. When it's bad is when you loose someone you consider your best friend. No, they didn't die or anything like that. We have drifted apart and my previous best friend is doing things that I don't approve of, and quite honestly, that's the end of it. We've tried to talk about it, but neither of us feels like we're getting through to the other. I can't continue to be hurt by it anymore, so I have decided to end the relationship.
So, my decisions have been made, I just have to figure out how to convey them. Hope your day is better than mine.
There's one big, huge reason, and that's the obvious one to everyone, and I don't want it to seem like the reason I made my decision was purely reactionary to that particular event - it's not. I have several other reasons why, and I can't openly nor honestly talk about them. So the question then becomes, how do you cover up the truth and make it seem like the obvious isn't the reasons behind your decision? That's what's so hard for me.
The next thing is dealing with the end of a friendship. It's not so bad when someone you know, someone you casually interact with, sort of drifts away. When it's bad is when you loose someone you consider your best friend. No, they didn't die or anything like that. We have drifted apart and my previous best friend is doing things that I don't approve of, and quite honestly, that's the end of it. We've tried to talk about it, but neither of us feels like we're getting through to the other. I can't continue to be hurt by it anymore, so I have decided to end the relationship.
So, my decisions have been made, I just have to figure out how to convey them. Hope your day is better than mine.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Wow...Just...Wow.
Man, what a hectic two weeks.
Wait - let me start out a little differently. Let me start like this:
The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Yes, I still live. A bit more tired than usual, a bit busier than usual, but still breathing in and out, heart still circulating blood (I think - lemme check - yep, everything seems to still be working).
Last week the finance manager where I work was on vacation, so I had to work every day. To those of you who work full-time jobs, keep yer yaps shut. I know you do that every day of your lives, and yes, I can appreciate it, but I don't. I'm a part-time finance assistant and a full-time mommy. This week of full-time mommy and substitute-full-time-finance-manager has just killed me. I didn't have time to write much less have time to think about what to say.
Conman's feet are much better. He's finished with PT and progressing nicely in football (I've typed that in so many emails, so many posts, that I feel like a broken record). His first game was on Sunday, 08/10, and he got to go in and play two or three times. While he was in there he looked good, like he kinda-sorta knew what he was doing (it was the first game...none of 'em knew what they were doing, really) and did what the coaches told him to do. He's been having trouble "hitting" - he doesn't want to tackle - but I think now that he understands that it's all part of the game he's warming to it.
I got word from the Board of Education that Conman's transfer for his first-grade year came through fine, and he'll be attending the same school this year as he did last year. Thank goodness. I didn't want to have to take him a half-an-hour to school every morning.
I went to the doctor myself today. Finally, someone who will work with me. In the past, doctors have not wanted to put me on any sort of birth control because I had my tubes tied about five years ago. "There's no need for it, you don't need pregnancy prevention, and menstrual regulation isn't reason enough to put you on them." Not this nurse practitioner. She said, "Does being irregular bother you? Yes? Okay. We'll start you on something immediately." Not only that, but after nearly 15 years of trying to get ANY doctor to listen to me about the cystic acne on my body, I finally have someone not only willing to listen, but willing to do something about it. She's starting me on a course of treatment that will ultimately clear it up, which is something that I've wanted for years. It's painful, unsightly, and makes me look "unclean" even though I AM clean. Oh, and the best news? She plans on starting me on something to regulate my moods. She doesn't want to start me on anti-depressants at the same time as birth control, so the next time I go in to see her, if all is well, she will start me on something to regulate my moods. Do I need it? Hell yes. DH could tell you that probably better than I could.
We're going to be selling our house. Probably in the coming year sometime. My dad wants to get rid of this house and property, and his as well. He's too old to take care of so much yard, and DH is just plain old too busy to take care of ours. Plus, we need to live somewhere that's actually within my preferred school district - this yearly transfer crap is just too much to deal with. If things don't change, though, we'll be going further than just "down the road" somewhere - we're looking at going out of state if DH's job doesn't get any more...lucrative.
Well, that's where it's at right now. Off to bed tonight, work in the morning, and directly to football practice tomorrow evening. Good health to you all!
Wait - let me start out a little differently. Let me start like this:
The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Yes, I still live. A bit more tired than usual, a bit busier than usual, but still breathing in and out, heart still circulating blood (I think - lemme check - yep, everything seems to still be working).
Last week the finance manager where I work was on vacation, so I had to work every day. To those of you who work full-time jobs, keep yer yaps shut. I know you do that every day of your lives, and yes, I can appreciate it, but I don't. I'm a part-time finance assistant and a full-time mommy. This week of full-time mommy and substitute-full-time-finance-manager has just killed me. I didn't have time to write much less have time to think about what to say.
Conman's feet are much better. He's finished with PT and progressing nicely in football (I've typed that in so many emails, so many posts, that I feel like a broken record). His first game was on Sunday, 08/10, and he got to go in and play two or three times. While he was in there he looked good, like he kinda-sorta knew what he was doing (it was the first game...none of 'em knew what they were doing, really) and did what the coaches told him to do. He's been having trouble "hitting" - he doesn't want to tackle - but I think now that he understands that it's all part of the game he's warming to it.
I got word from the Board of Education that Conman's transfer for his first-grade year came through fine, and he'll be attending the same school this year as he did last year. Thank goodness. I didn't want to have to take him a half-an-hour to school every morning.
I went to the doctor myself today. Finally, someone who will work with me. In the past, doctors have not wanted to put me on any sort of birth control because I had my tubes tied about five years ago. "There's no need for it, you don't need pregnancy prevention, and menstrual regulation isn't reason enough to put you on them." Not this nurse practitioner. She said, "Does being irregular bother you? Yes? Okay. We'll start you on something immediately." Not only that, but after nearly 15 years of trying to get ANY doctor to listen to me about the cystic acne on my body, I finally have someone not only willing to listen, but willing to do something about it. She's starting me on a course of treatment that will ultimately clear it up, which is something that I've wanted for years. It's painful, unsightly, and makes me look "unclean" even though I AM clean. Oh, and the best news? She plans on starting me on something to regulate my moods. She doesn't want to start me on anti-depressants at the same time as birth control, so the next time I go in to see her, if all is well, she will start me on something to regulate my moods. Do I need it? Hell yes. DH could tell you that probably better than I could.
We're going to be selling our house. Probably in the coming year sometime. My dad wants to get rid of this house and property, and his as well. He's too old to take care of so much yard, and DH is just plain old too busy to take care of ours. Plus, we need to live somewhere that's actually within my preferred school district - this yearly transfer crap is just too much to deal with. If things don't change, though, we'll be going further than just "down the road" somewhere - we're looking at going out of state if DH's job doesn't get any more...lucrative.
Well, that's where it's at right now. Off to bed tonight, work in the morning, and directly to football practice tomorrow evening. Good health to you all!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Addendum to the "I Believe" Post
I believe that a private conversation between two people ought to remain that way, no matter what, unless both parties give permission for it to be shared.
I believe that you should always do your level best to uphold your obligations to others.
I believe that anyone that you call a friend ought to be understanding and caring enough to realize that your words and actions are not to hurt them, but in an effort to make things better for everyone.
I believe that friendship does not have a time limit; people come to you for a reason, and it's up to both of you to maintain the friendship.
I believe that if you're wrong, you ought to admit it, for better or for worse.
I believe that people ought to hold their family first above all others with the exception of God.
I believe that you should always do your level best to uphold your obligations to others.
I believe that anyone that you call a friend ought to be understanding and caring enough to realize that your words and actions are not to hurt them, but in an effort to make things better for everyone.
I believe that friendship does not have a time limit; people come to you for a reason, and it's up to both of you to maintain the friendship.
I believe that if you're wrong, you ought to admit it, for better or for worse.
I believe that people ought to hold their family first above all others with the exception of God.
Yeah, I'm a Thiever.
A friend of mine had this posted on her MySpace blog, and I thought it was fantastic, so I lifted it and posted it here. Thank you, S!
Birth Certificate shows that we were born,
A Death Certificate shows that we died,
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.
I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...
That my best friend and I,
can do anything,
or nothing and have the best time.
I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do
with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager
to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I Believe...
That your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most
in life are taken from you too soon.
I Believe...
The happiest of people
don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.
Monday, July 28, 2008
And So...
...there is no pool.
There was some snarkiness about payment, and I felt like I wasn't being trusted as a "customer", so I told the seller of the pool to just come and pick up the damn thing and get it out of my yard. So, that means there will be no pool 'round these parts until at least this spring.
Oh well.
Just means that I'll have some extra money every payday to put back to renovate my guest bathroom. I've got what I'd like to have done to it picked out, and Now I just need to buy it and get it installed. Add that to the $100 I'm saving out of each payday for vacation, and the money I have to hold back from every payday to pay for the boy's leg braces and my payday every two weeks is just about gone.
Football camp starts tonight and goes through Wednesday. Can't wait for it to start. I really think that it's gonna be good for him, and I think that he's really going to enjoy it. I've looked forward to him being old enough for football since he was born, and yay! It's finally here!
That's all I got until next time!
There was some snarkiness about payment, and I felt like I wasn't being trusted as a "customer", so I told the seller of the pool to just come and pick up the damn thing and get it out of my yard. So, that means there will be no pool 'round these parts until at least this spring.
Oh well.
Just means that I'll have some extra money every payday to put back to renovate my guest bathroom. I've got what I'd like to have done to it picked out, and Now I just need to buy it and get it installed. Add that to the $100 I'm saving out of each payday for vacation, and the money I have to hold back from every payday to pay for the boy's leg braces and my payday every two weeks is just about gone.
Football camp starts tonight and goes through Wednesday. Can't wait for it to start. I really think that it's gonna be good for him, and I think that he's really going to enjoy it. I've looked forward to him being old enough for football since he was born, and yay! It's finally here!
That's all I got until next time!
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